Today went pretty darned good I must say. I slept well. I got up and pulled weeds in the area where we plant tomatoes every year. I took my house plants out to the porch because I think it's finally going to be warm for the rest of the season. I got to eat solid food again. I cut out the bear. And best of all there was no wind and no one got lost!
This evening, I decided to do a chore I had been putting off. I had this HUGE stack of old magazines I had added to every time company came and I wanted to put them out of site. I had to sort through them and get rid of most of them. So I turned on the TV to watch stuff I had recorded and started going through them page by page.
Well into the stack I found a copy of Oprah's magazine I had picked up last January and apparently never got around to reading. But keep in mind...I always say things happen in their own time, and sometimes things wait for a reason. I think my not reading the magazine until tonight was for a reason because I had a lesson to learn that I wasn't ready for last January.
Now I have to say I don't watch Oprah's show. I have seen it, but daytime talk shows aren't really my thing. Hers is one of the better ones, but I still don't watch. So I haven't seen her in a while.
I bought that particular issue of the magazine because it had an article in it that caught my attention. At any rate on the cover was a picture of Oprah from 2005 and one of her current self when the magazine came out in 2009. Apparently she had put on some weight again. She said she was ashamed and embarrassed in the article.
It was interesting though, here was a picture of her, overweight...wearing a rather unattractive purple track suit...and all I thought was wow she is a really beautiful woman. Her face radiated a glow that I don't think was entirely due to the camera and lighting.
I turned the page and the big lettering excerpt from the article read that standing between Cher and Tina Turna that she felt like a fat cow. She said they didn't just sparkle, they glittered. The ironic thing is, I bet they didn't glow the same way I thought she did in the picture.
Now of course I don't know her personally so I can only speculate...but I think she really cares about people and this country and that is what gives her that glow.
The reason I am telling you this...is because I think we all feel that way sometimes. We don't see in ourselves what others see in us. We often feel like we fall short of our peers in some way. As artists especially we feel like what we make isn't good enough, or perfect enough or even beautiful. But beauty really, truly, honestly is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty comes in all forms, and there is someone out there to appreciate each form.
I know when I make a bear I know how to make a bear. I know how to draw the parts on paper to make a pattern, I know how to cut it out and assemble it, and I know how to dress it up. But when I look at it compared to someone else's work I think maybe it falls short sometimes. I wonder if anyone ever feels that way when they look at my work?
I often feel that way about blogging too. I think that sometimes I don't write well enough, clever enough or happy enough posts. I am convinced that my dear readers think I am completely neurotic...which might be true? I don't post the beautiful pictures others post every time, and I somehow feel as if I should. I feel like I fall short all the time when I blog. Blogging has been a joy, a struggle and definitely a voyage of self discovery for me.
What I learned from Oprah's article wasn't anything about weight loss. (Sorry Oprah!) I learned to have a little more self appreciation for who I am right this moment, not what I might become or can achieve in the future. Oprah wasn't less than Cher or Tina just because of a few extra pounds she had at the time. I, nor you, nor anyone else isn't any less than any other person. We are just sparkling, glittering or glowing in our own way.
There is no right or wrong way to create, blog or simply live our lives. We put the restrictions on ourselves by trying to measure up to someone else. I don't know why, we can never measure up to someone else because we aren't them and we shouldn't want to be. We don't need to do that to ourselves, it isn't fair to who we are. I am not 25 anymore, I am not 135 pounds anymore, I am not the best bear artist in the world, nor the best blogger. But I am the best at doing it the way I do it, and just being who I am right now in this minute. That's what really matters.
Isn't it funny how the simplest lessons are sometimes the hardest to learn? And when we do learn them, they never come in the way we would imagine. So thank you Oprah, even though you will never know what I learned from you!