Stuck

 

I think that whatever we do in this world, we are always going to be faced with challenges.  Even when it's something you love.  When it's not something you love, it's even harder when those challenges present themselves.   I know that when we are presented with them, they are tests and we need to do all we can to pass through the difficulty in the best way possible.  But sometimes it can seem overwhelming.

I find myself  in that position right now.  I know I recently went through some true challenges with everything my family was going through, but that's different.  In those situations you have to be strong.  It's not even a question.

Nope I am having difficulty with some smaller challenges right now.  The first one is cleaning.  The problem is I am an artist.  Artists tend to amass stuff.  STUFF! I don't even know how it happens.  You just go out innocently into the world and you find a little thing here and there and you bring it home.  All of a sudden you have a ridiculous amount of stuff!  I have been trying to clean the spare room/photography studio/overflow closet/library.  I keep trying to sort through it and get rid of what I don't need, but it's so overwhelming.  My whole house is like that.  

But this brings me to my second challenge, which is tied in with all the rest.  My diet.  As you know if you have been reading my blog and/or facebook I am doing this HA2CG diet and detox.  I am not finding it that hard to eat healthy.  But I am finding it hard to only eat 500 calories a day.  They said I wouldn't be hungry with the drops.  Everyone says it's so much easier to do it than I think it will be.  Well you know what...it's not.  I am HUNGRY.  Plus I get light headed and I have absolutely no energy.  I don't like that feeling.  But I paid a lot to do this, and it is working.  It's just that some days I don't know if I can do this.  I have three more weeks of it.  That is a long time when you're hungry and fatigued.  Plus when R is home, he is eating things in front of me that I can't have.  I have never wanted a hot dog so bad in all my life.  I don't like hot dogs very much.  I got sick on one as a kid once, and went years without eating one.  Now...I would rick roll your Mother for one!  Do people really make it through six weeks of this diet on 500 calories a day without ever cheating?  I can't imagine how they do it.

My third challenge is that I feel old.  Not just old, but old and fat and unappealing.  Normally that's not something I ever worry about.  But Saturday I had R take a pic of me in my new dress.  I was feeling pretty spiffy.  I had lost weight, gone down a size...and I was feeling good. I was going to show off my progress to my Mother.  Then I had him take a pic.  Ugh!  I didn't look anywhere near as good in the pic as I did in my mirrors.  It's amazing how your perception can change in an instant.  I know this is a side effect of all the other challenges I am facing and it will pass.  I will go back to my normal self soon enough.  But it really tore down my usually good self esteem.  =/  In order to try to combat that I posted the picture to Facebook.  It was hard and it took me a couple hours to get up the nerve to do it.  Plus I cropped it so you can't see my big ole backside!

Lastly, I am facing a challenge in trying to work.  I know that again it's a side effect of all the other challenges.  I am so overwhelmed by all the other things I need to do that I can't seem to clear my head and focus on work.  I haven't made anything in a couple weeks.  I have ideas, I just can't seem to get there.  I feel guilty working when I know I have to finish cleaning.  But I don't have the energy to clean from the diet, then I feel useless...it's a viscous circle.  I am just stuck.  It's making me crazy because I am usually always in motion.

I know this too shall all pass, and I will eventually get everything done.  As long as I don't pass out from starvation first.

To leave you on a cheery note...I have been dancing around the 400 followers mark for a while.  When I finally hit it, I am going to do a give away!  So stay tuned for that.

At least now you know what's going on with me.  I will try to post again soon, but I want to be in a better and less challenging frame of mind when I do it!  Being stuck makes Kelly feel negative.  Sigh~

 

Tea Party

Hi everyone, I know I haven't been posting much.  R has been out of town all week.  He is coming home tomorrow and leaving again on Sunday.  I am going to be all alone on Valentines Day, for the first time in decades.  He isn't very happy about it either.  But I guess that's the price of being a valuable asset to the company.  I am proud of him, but I miss him.

I have been cleaning, working and exercising all week...so there hasn't been much to tell.  The only outing I have coming up is a visit to Dr. de Sade (not his real name) Friday to let him turn me into a voodoo doll.  I have been going to a chiropractor for acupuncture every week.  It's not that enjoyable, but I do feel pretty good, so I guess it's working.

The next update will actually be the online show at http://www.teddiesworldwide.com/ coming up on March 23-25th.  I have been working hard and should have lots of nice pieces for you!

I will post again when I have something interesting to talk about!  In the mean time stay warm, and have a lovely day!

Hugs, Kelly

Website Update And Other Stuff

I apologize for not posting since I returned from my trip.  It's been a flurry of activity around here!  I am nearly overwhelmed.  But let me back up a bit first...

I will start with Thursday before last.  R was out of town, and it was bitterly cold and snowy.  As I have told you before I am the clumsiest person ever.  It was evening, and I was walking across the floor.  That's it, just walking across the floor and I lost my balance and fell down.  I felt a searing pain in my knee.  But I shrugged it off thinking it was a momentary thing.  By 2 AM I was tempted to go to the ER the pain was so great.  But it was cold...snowy...2 AM...and I was home alone so I chose not to go.  I decided it would probably be better by the next day.  I was wrong.  It's still bothering me.  I never did go to the doctor.  I suppose I should have.  But it will heal eventually.  It's slowing me down in all the things I want to get done though.

I left the following Monday for Montana.  I had a lovely visit with my parents.  We didn't get to do quite all the things my Mom wanted to do because of my knee, but that was ok with me.  I went to visit them, not run around and do stuff.

While I was gone R was painting the living room and foyer.  I always have to go away when he does house repairs or renovations.  I have some sort of odd defect that I cannot stand to watch people do things that involve tearing things up and making a mess.  I can tear things up and make a mess and it doesn't bother me a bit.  I am just an odd little ball of contradictions...what can I say!  *grins* 

When I got home it was completely shocking. You can stare at paint chips all you want, and it never gives you a real indication what it's going to look like. It's much brighter than I had imagined. Of course I have been staring at white walls for 12 years. I like it, but it's really bright.  Of course everything had been removed from the walls and furniture so I had nothing to break it up when I first saw it.  I have been slowly but surely putting everything back.

I have also been slowly but surely working in between putting everything back.  I wish I could focus on one thing and then the other, but my knee won't allow it so I keep switching between putting things back, cleaning and working.  I have a bear in progress, a lamb cut out and several ideas for new things.  This means hopefully a whole new animal or two!  Also there should be a new snowman or two, for those of you who like to collect them from me.  So I am going to have a small website update on the 2nd of December with some holiday pieces for you!  I used Marzipan in the pic above (she has been adopted already) since I don't have anything new ready just yet, but I will be giving you sneak peeks as I go along.  Stay tuned for those!

In the mean time have a lovely day, and I am off to work some more!

Hugs, K.

30 Years Ago Today

It's been crazy lately.  R and I have been passing the flu back and forth, and in between I have been making the house ready for Christmas.  I have been decorating, shopping, doing cards and wrapping  for two weeks.  As a result I haven't gotten a single bear done. 

But I am taking today off to work on a very special bear before I start doing some major cleaning this week.  I have company coming soon. 

Today is kind of special though, since it was 30 years ago today I finished that very first bear.  I wanted to show him to you, but he is packed away in an old steamer trunk in the garage and it's nearly impossible to get to him right now with all the tubs of decorations out. 

So instead I thought I would show you Fenway.  Fen was made right around the halfway point in my career.  But he is a very important bear because he represents a turning point for me.  Fen was that bear that was finally what I wanted to make.  That look that I wanted and had taken me so long to get to.  It's not that the bears for the first fifteen were bad, they simply didn't define who I wanted to be as an artist.

You have to remember back then we didn't have as many books, or the internet...so information was pretty scarce.  It was all trial by fire back in those days.  Now, artists have the advantage of endless information, photos and tips on how to make things and they can achieve the look they want much sooner.

It's been a wonderful journey, and I wouldn't change the time it took me to get to where I want to be.  I have learned so much, built a good business reputation, traveled the world, been able to help charities and the best part...what I do makes people happy...including me!  You can't ask for more than that!  So today I am taking one shining day off of getting ready for the holidays and working on three 30th anniversary bears.  You will get to see them soon hopefully. 

Then it's back to cleaning!  For those of you who made special requests for pieces...they are coming...I swear!

Hugs, K. <3

Cleaning And Layouts

I spent all day cleaning. I like to get the house cleaned before Christmas decorating time. I only got the vacuuming, laundry, a little assorted dusting and spot cleaning, and the powder room done. It takes me forever to clean this house. It's my own fault, I have enough stuff in here for six houses. There are days when I think I would like to back a semi up to the door and just let them cart 90% of it all away.

Artists tend to be collectors and pack rats. I suppose being poor as a child might have something to do with it too. I have no problem throwing out unnecessary items, but when it comes to all the little odds and ends I own I have a hard time doing it. As a result, my rooms are overstuffed. Plus I have books in every room.

This evening I cooked, washed dishes, watched a little TV (I was pleased with the outcome of Dancing With The Stars!) Then I worked on my Christmas website layout a bit.

I am having a hard time with it. I had this fabulous idea two months ago, and I just couldn't make it work. It's the first idea I have ever had for it that I couldn't pull off. I have been floundering ever since. I have 5 layouts done and none of them really hit the mark for what I want. I suppose I am going to have to pick one eventually. It just pains me that I can't do what I had intended.

I guess that's about it for today. I really didn't have a lot to say...I just didn't want you to think I had abandoned you, so I gave you an update on what I am doing.

I do have some great ideas for the two upcoming blog parties though, and some ideas for new pieces! So stay tuned!

Hugs, K <3

Monday Madness

Normally I try to make my Monday Love or Inspiration post, but today...while I am filled with inspiration, it's not the normal kind. I am definitely riding a small wave of madness. Last week was trying to say the least.

I had asked the doctor if I could go off of my hormone replacement pills since the surgery was several years ago and I felt that the menopause I was thrust into had passed. He said no, that I should stay on them for another year or two, but when do I ever listen to what anyone says? So I decided to compromise, I have been taking them every other day. I am sure he would yell at me for it, but he isn't here now is he? >=} As a result of this, I have been on a little bit of a mood roller coaster...it's not nearly as bad as it was in the beginning, but I have been a bit off. I am sure my posts may have reflected that.

Also I woke up the other morning with three sore spots on my forehead. Later I noticed I have a blue-ish purple line running vertically down one of the sore spots. It looks and feels for all the world like I ran into something, but I know I didn't. I can't imagine what happened. I still swear those cats of mine abuse me when I am sleeping.

Then I had the bear buying issues, but somehow that post vanished. I don't know where it went. *Shrugs* The internet isn't a perfect science.

Of course I still have eating issues from my gums. So I guess no one can blame me too much if I am a little crazed.

I have also been trying to clean the work room. It's coming along, but I have about 12 times as much stuff in there as the room should really accommodate. I am a master at organizing and stashing it, but there are days when I open the closet that I fear for my life a little.

Having the accumulation of the ages in there has in fact inspired me. I am working on designing a new pattern for another animal or two that will work with some of these wonderful treasures I have.

As I have said before pattern drafting is not my strong suit and I always...ALWAYS make myself crazy when I do it. I want it to be perfect. In fact I always want everything to be perfect, which is in direct contrast to the love of making things that look old and worn. Whew~ It's no wonder I drive myself batty some days, hormones aside.

So wish me luck and sanity and maybe...in a few days I will have a new little something to show you. In the mean time I am also working on my little Christmas bear, so he should be along in the next day or two as well.

May you all have an inspired week...even if, like me, your inspiration just comes from cleaning!

Playing Catch Up

The last few days I haven't gotten a whole lot done. I blame Dan Brown and my inability to put his newest book down. He writes such fun intellectual fluff, and the story keeps you wanting to know what the next puzzle is and what's behind the next door. Some of the plot points make me want to smack him in the head with the book and others I really enjoy. I managed to finish the book yesterday morning though, so it was time to get caught up on what I had been putting off.

I am working on two new pieces that should be done very soon. I am also cleaning the studio. It always tends to get messy, since I work there. When I am done with all that I need to do some cleaning.

Watch for new pieces soon...very soon! Also today is the last day for free shipping on my site.

Hugs, K. <3