When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Go To Sleep

Usually I handle things as they come along.  It's what you have to do in life.  Anyone who has been reading my blog on a regular basis for a while knows I have had a tough time of it this year.  But sometimes there comes a point where I just shut down.  That's what happened this week.

I have been making these new patterns which is always hard for me.  But along with that I also had to take Gypsy for a 3 am ER vet visit last Tuesday.  She started throwing up and didn't stop.  The vet said she had an infection and gave her some antibiotics and some kitty Pepcid.

R has been running up to Vail quite a bit and having to stay up there because they are in the testing phase of the job, and invariably they have to work til late into the night for testing.  He has been so tired, he doesn't like staying away from home.  But that also means that every little crisis that comes along is all mine to deal with while he is gone.

It's been raining endlessly and my sinus's are going to explode.  I have had a headache every day for two weeks now.

Day before yesterday Buster slipped and hurt his leg again.  He had MAJOR surgery on it last March which cost a small fortune.  I was afraid he had done the same thing again, and I was ready to have him put down last night since he was laying on the floor doing nothing but crying from the pain and couldn't put any weight at all on the leg.  It's certainly not something I wanted to do, but I can't afford another couple thousand for major surgery again, and I can't put him through that torture again either.  I took him to the ER vet, and sat there for an hour and a half.  They only had one other dog in there and it was in the next room making the most horrible noise the entire time. 

I finally couldn't take it any more since it was upsetting him and my nerves were frayed raw, and I was sobbing because I didn't want to put him down.  So I just took him home without seeing the doctor.  Now Buster is a cocker spaniel, but he is one of the biggest ones you have ever seen and he is quite heavy.  So when I got home I carried him  around to the gate to let him in the back yard.  I sat him down while I unlocked the gate.  I turned to put him in the yard and the little stinker was gone!  He had RAN back into the garage!  Miraculously he could suddenly move, he was still limping but he wasn't as bad off as he made me believe.  It nearly cost him his life.  I am not sure what we will do now, it depends on if he heals and shows improvement or not.  If he doesn't, and he really has messed up his leg again we still may have to put him down.  But I am sincerely hoping not, and that maybe it's just a sprain that heals up.

On top of all of this Facebook is causing me frustration.  Now I know you wouldn't think Facebook would be a big deal.  But I have recently found out that most bear artists think it's a wonderful tool, so I was trying to update my page the last couple nights.  It had been sitting there abandoned for over a year. 

I am a pretty tech savvy type of girl, but Facebook is just beyond me.  It's so user unfriendly.  When I upload pictures a couple of them always vanish over the next few days.  All my profile info had vanished.  Plus I don't know how anyone finds anything on that site?  How do you search for things?  Where do the people who follow your page come from?  How do they find you?

So I need some input from you guys on this...do you have Facebook or not?  If you do, do you like it?  Do you think it's worth the effort?  Do ya have any idea what I am doing wrong?  (Thanks in advance for the info.)

At any rate with all this never ending junk going on, I just shut down a couple days ago and took to my bed about every four hours.  I can't sleep that long, but I can't seem to stay awake that long either.  So posting has been minimal this week and I wanted to let you know why.

I think I am going back to bed again...this too shall pass...I hope!

Caught In The Act

Nearly everyone has some odd little facets to their personality that is completely incongruous with who they are and what the people in their lives know about them.  Now if you're like me, you have kept those things secret because if someone caught you engaging in them you wouldn't know how to explain yourself.

Until this morning I had such a secret.  Something that I had never told a living soul.  Now R is pretty used to my quirks...and there are many.  So very little surprises him.  But this was something that I just never shared with him.  I have always been able to get away with it, without being caught because it's an occasional thing I only do once every year or two.

Last night was rather odd all the way around anyway.  For starters I would have sworn, sworn, sworn I saw Shelby twice.  Once in the living room and once in the foyer.  But that is impossible because Shelby was a cat I used to have.  She passed on a couple years ago.  I don't know why I thought I saw her, I hadn't even really been thinking about her.

The second odd thing was while I was microwaving a can of tomato soup for lunch, (I have lunch about 11 PM since my schedule is different than the rest of the world) I was standing perfectly still in the kitchen, flat footed and all of a sudden it was as if someone pulled a rug out from under me and I nearly fell on my backside.  Luckily for once I didn't.  Now I know I am extremely clumsy but I was standing STILL!

The oddest thing of all, right around 1 AM it felt as if someone just sucker punched me right in the back of the rib cage.  I don't know what I did.  I didn't run into anything and I didn't move wrong and pull a muscle.  It was very strange, and today it's so sore I can barely move my arm.

So I decided there was really only one thing left to do...now I was certain I would get away with it again without being caught...and I would have if R hadn't uncharacteristically gotten up five minutes early.  He wandered out of the bedroom, squinted at the TV and said "What on earth are you watching?!"

I froze like a deer caught in headlights.  I didn't know what to do.  What should I say?  Should I deny it and claim I hadn't meant to?  Should I fess up?  Should I turn the TV off and run?  Finally I said very quietly: "Er...um...a...a kung fu movie."  He just gave me a quizzical look, shook his head and wandered to the kitchen to make coffee.

It's true, for about 30 years now I have been watching that rare kung fu movie in secret.  I can't make anyone understand it, because I don't understand it.  But I do believe that every single thing in the entire universe right down to the tiniest detail makes perfect sense in the big picture even if it's not apparent to us as to why.

I do have a bit of good news to share too...I don't know if he picked up on my feelings or it was merely coincidence but Ridley decided to back off a little yesterday.  He let everyone else have attention and didn't stick to me like glue all day. 

He managed to pass three important tests in the last 24 hours.  As mentioned above he decided to share.  Also Gypsy bolted out the door with the dogs yesterday and he was off after her like a rocket.  I was terrified he would grab her and either hurt her or kill her.  While he hasn't been aggressive with the cats, he also didn't seem to understand what they were and I wasn't sure of his intent.  But when he caught up to her, he just started running around her in a circle wagging his tail and doing that doggie bow that implies they want to play...so second test passed.

Lastly, today I had to go out and leave him home without supervision this afternoon for the first time since he has been here.  I was gone for two and a half hours because I had to drop Jazzy off at the groomers, run errands and hit the store.  I wasn't sure what I would find when I got home, but nothing was amiss.  He had behaved like a gentleman with the furniture and the cats...so he gets to stay and doesn't have to go back.

Somehow I think he knows he passed the tests, because he is happily asleep with a big doggie grin on his face.  Of course...he could just be dreaming about chasing rabbits. 

Hugs, K.  <3

First Harvest

Despite the terrible hail damage I have managed to get my first "harvest."  Ok it was just one radish, but I was still feeling proud and excited over it because it came out of my very first garden.  You can see the ravages of the hail on the leaves.

I have been outside doing clean up.  I had to rake the front the yard day before yesterday to get up all the downed tree branches and leaves.  I was going to do the backyard and garden yesterday but it was pouring rain for most of the day.  It doesn't really look like today will be much better.

I have caught a cold from running out in the rain with the dogs to go do their business.  I have to go with them because if I don't, Ridley won't let the other two have a moment's peace to go potty. 

Speaking of Ridley, he may have to go back.  It just kills me to have to consider that.  He is such a sweet, smart dog.  But unfortunately he is extremely obsessed with me and he won't let the others get near me for any attention.  I have been trying to work with him all week, but he isn't getting it.  Buster and Jazzy are starting to loathe him.  I am not sure what to do about it.  He has learned everything else so fast.  But this is getting worse instead of better.  I am starting to think he needs to go to a home where he is the only pet and will have all the attention lavished on him.  If anyone has any ideas let me know.  I would like to be able to keep him.

R is doing ok, but he comes home absolutely exhausted and pale.  He wouldn't even take a day off to recoup from his head injury and being a stubborn man he refuses to admit there is a problem.  I could just smack the doctor for telling him he was fine to go back to work the next day.

Other than the laundry, I haven't gotten much done this week.  I need to start on my project for the blog party, but I just haven't been able to between dogs, hail and injured husbands.  I will somehow get it done...I always do.  I will keep you posted on my progress.

Hugs, K. <3

Dr. Basil

Yesterday was a little rough. I stayed in bed most of the day, and I had no energy to make myself some soup. So I didn't eat anything until R came home. He made homemade cheese soup, which is so good because it has a bunch of vegetables in it that are boiled then blended and put in. So it's still very smooth, but it has nutritious value. After I ate I felt a lot better. I still feel like I have been punched in the mouth though, and I have an awful lot of swelling along my jaw. I actually do know how that feels, because many many years ago I worked as a cocktail waitress and one night a drunk and belligerent customer who didn't want to take a taxi home actually did punch me in the mouth.

However, while R was at work I was in good hands...or should I say paws. Buster was on his best behavior for once, and Jazzy came to stand on her stubby little hind legs and peer at me with those keen dark brown Westie eyes as if she was checking on me and wondering why I wasn't getting up.

Rizzo came and laid by me and purred, and Gypsy was never more than two feet away all day. But it is Basil who always takes the best care of me. He is the very special little guy I posted about last year who loves Christmas and smiles like a Cheshire cat. The post is called A Christmas Tail if you missed it and wanted to read it.

I don't really believe in reincarnation, but if there is such a thing, I am convinced Basil was a doctor in a previous life. After I came from home from my hospital stay from my hysterectomy he would come in to the bedroom and do the oddest thing every hour to two hours. He would lean over and stick his nose under my nose without touching me, then a couple seconds later he would lay his head on my chest for a few seconds. Then he would go back to laying beside me. It took me a while to figure out he was checking my breathing and heartbeat.

Yesterday he came and sat on my chest, stared at me for a minute then gently put his paw on my bottom lip as if to say "Open up, I want to have a look." I opened my mouth just a little and he leaned over and inspected it. When he was satisfied, he sat up and squeezed his eyes closed a bit. I think he probably believes he could have done a better job...or maybe that look was simply "Boy are you high maintenance!"

He is so sweet and concerned, and I felt very loved and taken care of in the best way he knows how.