The Girl Of My Dreams

So I never got the Etsy shop open Wednesday like I wanted to because I woke up sick a couple nights ago and my "kids" are having some issues that has taken all my time. But it's ok because I have learned recently that all things really do come in their own time when they are ready, as if they know more than I do. Which they probably do.

The good news is Tallulah is on her way to Luxembourg, which I think it kind of exciting. I have bears living in some pretty far flung parts of the world, but as far as I know she is the first one to get to go there.

While I was resting yesterday I managed to read an amusing article in Allure magazine. It was called "The Girl Of My Dreams." Trust me it wasn't about what you might think. It was about those anonymous women that we all get a glimpse of in public who leave a huge impact on us because we wish we had whatever quality it is that made them stick in our memory based on a fleeting image. She went on to say that in reality their lives probably aren't as good as we imagine, but that we identify with the quality that sparks us because we either have it in a latent form or we wish we had it. (I am paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.)

The interesting thing was that upon reading the article I IMMEDIATELY remembered those women from my life. I guess we all have them. They are never movie stars or models, they usually aren't perfect or even if they are, that isn't what makes us remember them. Sometimes it's an easy grace, a daring we don't possess, or simply a casual style that reflects a comfort in their own skin.

I will tell you about the three that made an impact on me. One was at a concert in the 80's. She had that perfect smoldering italian looks and long curly black hair with deep red lipstick. But it wasn't her perfection of looks that made me remember her. As she made her way calmly through the crowd of raucous concert goers she looked completely unflappable and as if she had just struck a pose for a magazine at every stride. At that point in life I really wished I had that olive skin and dark haired coloring, and her perfect 8 X 10 glossy worthy poses just fascinated me because she was so untouched by anything going on around her. Since I've gotten older I have become incredibly thankful I was born a natural blonde. I don't have to wax anything above the neck!

The second one was in 1989 on my honeymoon in Port Jefferson, NY. She was having lunch with friends at an outdoor cafe. She had black pants and a shirt and really ugly shoes that reminded me of broguns that were fabulous in their own way because she made them work. She had wonderfully dangly silver earrings that were shown off by her shorter glossy dark hair that had bangs that flopped over the back a la Johnny Depp the early years. It was in fact her easy laugh and her amazingly casual yet chic hair and style that fascinated me and left an impression. You have to understand that I have ten pounds of unruly hair that has never had a chic day in it's life because it runs amok with wild abandon. Now I am sure that somewhere some woman with smooth glossy dark locks has looked at me and I left that impression on them because they wish they had ten pounds of unruly blonde hair...but hey the grass is always greener because that's not the pasture you live in!

The last one that made an incredible impression on me was in fact a man. In 2000 I was at Jazz Fest in Sacramento. The place was teeming with attractive, flirty college-esque men who weren't ready to grow up yet. Now you might think one of them would be the one I would remember. You couldn't be more wrong. The one I remember was an older gentleman walking down the street with a very pretty younger woman. She was clearly not a relative either, but I could understand her attraction to him. He was short, very thin, part asian and not anything beyond average to look at. However he had that certain je nais se quoi. He was wearing light colored loose fitting trousers and a shirt that had a certain amount of silk in them. You could tell by the way they flowed as he walked. He had on sandals, small wire framed glasses and a beret. I know...it sounds awful doesn't it? But yet the man was perfectly comfortable in an outfit that really wouldn't have suited most people his age. He exuded a confidence and a comfortableness with himself that is rare. You could tell that he was young at heart but had an old and artistic soul. He seemed like the sort of man who would dazzle you in a million ways without even knowing it or trying. He was worth a dozen of the cute post college boys. But it wasn't that I wanted to be with him, I wanted to be comfortable with myself in that way. I think it's that quality I saw in each of these people that I wanted for myself.

As the years have progressed I think I have grown into who I am, made peace with that and become comfortable in my own skin. I know my good points and my short comings and I am fine with both. However I don't know if I will ever be as comfortable as those three anonymous people who made such a lasting impression on me in the split second that I saw each of them.