I have made a couple posts since I started my blog where I said I wasn't really sure what my responsibility as a blogger is, and what exactly it's supposed to be. But last night the answer struck me like a lightning bolt.
I think people use their blogs for different things. Some use it as a personal diary, or to chronicle their work, or they devote it to one subject. Mine is kind of all over the place.
I like to think about things. Lots of things. I see or read something about a new scientific breakthrough or an archaeological find and I apply it to the things I have already learned. Sometimes I formulate theories about stuff. I don't know if they are right, but they are interesting to me to think about.
Recently I came up with a new theory about the Mayan prophecy based on something completely unrelated that I saw. It just clicked in my brain and I was really excited about it.
The problem with these things is that no one else in my life is that interested in them. In fact I think they think I am slightly unbalanced for thinking about this stuff because it doesn't pertain to me or my world so they don't understand why I want to think about it. I have a lot of down to earth people in my sphere of existence and they aren't really interested in the slightest. Sometimes I tell them anyway and they glaze over or change the subject.
In fact I told one friend about my theory and since I happened to tell him on April 1st, he thought I was playing a joke on him. He laughed and make a sarcastic retort. I was disappointed in his reaction, but not surprised. To be honest I don't think my theory is that far fetched and makes a lot more logical sense than most of the other theories I hear about it.
The people in my life also aren't that interested in the things I learn about my business and dealing with selling online. Nor do they care about the things I worry about like my fears and realizations from my last two posts.
At any rate I realized that many of the things I think so deeply about make their way into my posts. I guess I use my blog to tell what no one I know wants to listen to. It kind of makes me sad in a way, because I always listen to what they think about and want to tell me. I find what people have to say interesting. It tells me a lot about who they are, even if I have known them all my life. Very few people I know in real life read my blog either. Maybe if they did, they would understand me better.
The flip side of that is that the people who do read it don't usually see the lighthearted side of me and probably think I am very serious and slightly nuts. (They may be right on the latter.)
They say listening is an art. I think that's true, if you listen to people they usually speak volumes more than what they say. I also think it's so much more than that, having someone you care about listen to you is crucially important sometimes even when they aren't interested in whatever you're saying. It's a way to know you matter to them. We all just need to be heard once in a while. Sometimes I think this is the only way my deepest thoughts ever really get out and it gives me the illusion that they are being heard.