Thursday, May 19, 2011
I have to confess I have had the blahs all week. I am sure you could tell from my post earlier. I have a mountain of laundry that needs doing and I haven't been able to walk across the house to do it. There are two bears waiting patiently to be put together and I haven't wanted to do that either. I haven't wanted to cook or pluck my eyebrows. I watched TV and didn't know what I watched, I tried to read and couldn't focus. In fact the only thing I have wanted to do all week is sit in my chair under the quilt and stare at the sky...and eat lemonade popsicles. They are wonderfully sour. No sugar in them...perfect for my mood I guess.
I feel as if I have been waiting for the universe to open up and deliver an answer to a question...but I haven't asked anything. It's almost as if I am depressed or something..but I have never had depression. I don't feel depressed though...just like I want to hermit myself away from the world.
There are several factors that contributed to this mood. One of course was not going to the show. Another huge thing was the weather. Yesterday alone we had winter storm advisories, tornado and severe thunder storm warnings and every five minutes it changed from sunny to rainy. And I do mean literally every five minutes. I want to plant my garden and I can't. We had frost last week. This mercurial weather is wreaking havoc on my allergies and my spirit.
Business-wise I feel as if I should be stepping things up in some way...but I don't know what way? It has become abundantly clear to me that shows have changed a great deal in the few years since I have done one. The rules have changed and you need more things than you used to. It's all so complicated now. From what I understand you have to change up your displays and have signs and lots of types of payment options and bears with all the bells and whistles and traveling with it all has become more difficult and expensive and...and...and...sigh~
But this morning I woke up to sunshine...it was kind of cold, but consistently sunny. I felt like eating more than popsicles, I had an idea for a sign and a new bear and I wanted to get my laundry done. Hurray I was coming out of it!
Then I made the mistake of checking my e-mail. I had one depressing e-mail from a family member, and one from a friend where I had lavished praise on something they did (I don't pass out false praise ever! If I love something and tell you, you can believe I truly love it!) but for some inexplicable reason they thought I didn't like it. I don't understand. I thought I was quite clear. It hurts.
So I guess when life hands me more lemons the best thing to do is sit in the chair and stare at the sky and eat lemonade popsicles...and wait for it to pass.