Website Update And Follow Up

When I got up this afternoon I came down with my usual death grip on my coffee and plopped down at my computer.  I about fell out of my chair when I saw how many e-mails I had gotten.  I have been answering them for hours.  But I love that!  It tells me that you do really read what I write and that you cared enough to take time from your busy days to respond and help me out.

Every single person was very kind in their critiques and comments.  But what you said was also very illuminating in several ways.  For one thing I learned that a LOT of people are having trouble posting comments on blogger and aren't really as shy as I thought you were.  There are two things that are causing problems, one is how you have your settings and the other is an incompatibility issue with Internet Explorer 9.  This is also what was causing the problem with the blurry header images a couple weeks ago.

I use AOL (yeah yeah I know, but I have been using it for so long that I don't want to change my e-mail address) and Firefox.  While I don't technically use IE on it's own because I am not fond of it, AOL does use it in the background.  When I use Firefox, I have no problems.  The other thing is how you have users set to comment.  I have mine set to registered users as opposed to followers only and that seems to be working for a lot of people.  I also have the captcha thing turned off.  I really get very few bots posting, so it's not a problem to delete those rare advertising comments when they show up.

Now as for the bears and how I was feeling last post...I really learned some things through your comments.  But first I want to tell you that I usually make these posts right before I go to bed early in the morning, and I have been up alone all night with my thoughts and sewing, so sometimes I think my posts read like I am a crazy and/or neurotic person.  But that's what happens after you have been up for hours in the quiet all night.  I tend to over think things, and I can't quite always see the big picture.

I did figure out what was really bothering me.  It's not a desire to go back to what I used to make style wise.  But the thing is Joe (shown in the previous post) was an 18 inch bear.  I made a lot of big bears back then.  More than I did the smaller ones.  I love the smaller ones I am doing now,  (thank you Heather, that was such a great thing you did by wanting me to make those smaller bears!)  but I think I was going into big bear withdrawal.  I think that's what was at the root of my desire to get that old pattern out.  It's not that I want to go back, it's that I haven't made a big bear in 15 months!!!  You made me see this by asking if there would be more sizes of the new style and so many of you asking for larger ones.

In answer to that, I have pretty much got the new pattern that was like Cupcake, and Cupid shown above, to the place I want that pattern to be.  The next step is to draw it into larger bear patterns, which I will be working on soon!  So hopefully you will see some larger bears in that style in the coming months.  It takes a bit of time because you can't make a bigger pattern properly by just slapping it on a copy machine and enlarging it.  You really have to draw them individually.

Through reading all of your feedback I came to another interesting realization.  I no longer have an end point in mind.  Back in those old days I was working toward that "perfect" pattern.  But I have realized at this stage in life I like the bears being in a state of flux.  While I want to make each pattern I do at any given time as good  as it can possibly be, I also know that I will never have another pattern that I use hundreds and hundreds of times.  I like being able to change things a bit here and there as I go along.  I don't actually want to have that perfect pattern/end goal anymore.  I think that's a good thing, it keeps it interesting.

I don't need to go back.  I need to keep going forward.  That doesn't mean that I won't ever circle back to a style I did before, but it does mean that if I do it will be in a new and fresher way.  I am feeling content again, and I am truly happy that you liked Joe so much!  I am also happy that overall, you like the new bears better!  This year I have decided to embrace the unique and sometimes strange ideas I have and color outside the traditional lines a little more.  This is something I have wanted to do for three years, but it can be hard to allow yourself to do that when you have done things a certain way for so long.  So this year you will be seeing some interesting ideas come to life that I haven't done before, but that have been lurking in the shadows of my brain for a while! 

In the mean time I would like to let you know that there will be a Valentines-ish update coming January 18th at 5 PM EST.  Also I am still going to strive to get a new piece added every week or two along with those bigger updates!

Again I can't thank you all enough for your comments, they really did help me see the bigger picture of what was bothering me.

If It Wasn't Broke, Why Did I Fix It?

Yesterday I was having a little chat with another artist friend on Facebook.  They were telling me about a piece they were working on, and it happened to be something I had made a long time ago so I posted a pic for them to see.  I also posted a pic of a monkey I had made and All American Joe, the bear shown above.  (I made him so long ago that the pic was taken with a real camera because digital cameras weren't even a thing yet.)  I really wanted to just post those pics into my album for my friend to have a peek at, but since I am a bit Facebook impaired that didn't happen and they posted to my wall. 

I got so SO much positive feedback on Joe both in comments and in messages.  Now you would think that I would be thrilled that people loved him, and I am.   I also kind of wanted to bang my head against the wall.  But let me back up a little bit first.

Three decades ago when I made my first bear, I was incredibly unhappy with how it turned out, so I made my own pattern for the second one and was pleased with the results.  I made another bear after that from my pattern and gave it to a friend for her birthday.  She in turn showed it to a woman she knew who had a gifts and collectibles shop and the owner approached me about selling some to her.  That's how I started in the business. 

Once I was opened up to this world, as most fledgling bear artists do...I started trying out every pattern I could find to see what aspects of making a bear I liked and what I didn't.  About a year and a half in I had a fairly good idea of what I wanted to achieve and what I liked.  So I studied bears very carefully to get that perfect look I was going for.  I made notes about what I saw and liked, and I incorporated those things into my pattern.

It wasn't an easy road though because patterns have never come terribly easy for me and I was constantly tweaking it this way or that to get it just so.  It took me about 12 years to truly get to that recognizable style of my own and still make a very traditional bear, which is what I loved.  Somewhere in there I started distressing them.  When I did finally arrive at a pattern design and style I was completely happy with, I offered it in 4 sizes and I made bears from those patterns for a very long time.  I made literally hundreds and hundreds of bears in that style from those patterns.  They sold well and people loved them.  The only other thing I made was rabbits.

But one morning I woke up, got out my pattern and looked at it and thought...I have done this now.  I have done it and done it and done it...so now what?  I felt it was time for a change.  But the problem with achieving what you consider your ideal, and working for years to get there is that when you want to do something new, you don't know what it is.  I had no idea.  I was adrift for about a year.  I hardly made anything.

By this time I had the bear pattern thing pretty much down, so I sat down and designed some completely different style bears.  They weren't distressed or tradtional.  They sold, people liked them, but they never really "fit."  After a couple of years I decided it was time to go home again so to speak.  But I wanted to give "home" a little bit of a modern facelift.

I have been working towards that end ever since.  While I like what I have produced over the past six years I am still designing, re-designing and tweaking again.  I also decided I wanted to make other animals, so I keep adding those and I am glad I have done that.  I plan to continue adding animals of all varieties.  Just recently though I feel like I am at a place where I might be able to stop tweaking the bear patterns as much.  I like the changes to my patterns I have done in the past couple months a lot.  I have also been taking more risks than I used to...as in the case of Sno with his two different sized eyes.   I was finally feeling truly satisfied again...and then I posted that picture yesterday.  Sigh~

Over the past year I had actually been thinking about pulling that old "perfect" pattern out again (one of the few bear patterns I actually saved because I usually destroy old patterns or I would have them stacked to the rafters) and making it, but I never did.

A couple of posts back I talked about how doubt will sometimes creep into the minds of artists, and I found doubt creeping into my mind yesterday.  Should I have stuck with that pattern?  Is it better than what I do now?  Would people like it better?   If it wasn't broke, why did I fix it?  Of course the answer is because we always try to move forward and keep things fresh.  As an artist you cannot make the same thing forever without it getting stagnant and burned out on it.

But I also find myself wondering...is it really a step backwards to revisit a pattern?  I have never done that before.  I suspect that even if I did pull it out and make it the end result wouldn't be quite the same as it was all those years ago.  At this point I don't know for sure what I am going to do, and I could use some insight from you.  So any comments would be welcome. 

While I am probably throwing myself right into the middle of shark infested waters here...I am going to encourage your critiques of what I am doing now.  I have thick skin, I can take it.  So don't be afraid to be honest.  Afterall I want to make the best bears I can, and feedback can certainly go a long way.  That doesn't mean I will automatically take every suggestion and incorporate it, but it does mean I will certainly give it some thought.

If you're one of my many shy readers, or one of the many like me, that has trouble getting your comments to post to blogger,  you can feel free to send me an e-mail with your thoughts instead of posting a public comment.

By the way on a separate note...if you are like me and have trouble getting comments to post to blogger, I have finally figured out the reasons just this week and can help you.  Let me know and I will talk you through it.  I have had this problem for a while, it's not that I don't like to post comments on other blogs...because I do read them..I just haven't been able to.