Touching History

Today was pretty amazing. We went to Denver to meet up with R's mother for dinner to exchange presents since she is going out of town for Christmas. But first we went and did something I have wanted to do since June. We went to visit the Titanic exhibit at Denver Museum.

It's hard to put into words how you feel when you see something like that. For starters it's just such an amazing piece of history and to get to touch it is incredible. I mean literally touch it, they had an actual piece of the hull we were allowed to touch. Not to mention that in one room they had created a genuine iceburg that you could touch too. Seeing all the antique artifacts of a more refined time and knowing that they had been under water for 80 years and surivived to tell this story is also an amazing feeling. But for me at least there is a slight sense of wrongness to being able to see it as well because ultimately it came from a grave. Maybe it's just the superstitious celtic side of my nature but whether you are doing it in the name of earning money by looting or archaeology in the name of sharing history you have still disturbed a place of tragedy where so very many people lost their lives.

They had the most darling little man in a ruby red bowler and suit who was greeting the passengers. We had been given boarding passes with people's bio's that we were supposed to be. I was Madeline Astor, and he was so adorable, he greeted me with the respect a woman of her stature would have received and congratulated me on my new marriage and pregnancy! It was very funny. Upon first seeing the things on display I got chills. The entire thing was just incredible, beautiful and so very heart wrenchingly sad. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Perception

I have mentioned before that I have a fondness for cryptozoology and other odd things. I was watching one of those shows on TV tonight in fact. I am always amazed by one constant factor in every person's story they interview on any of these shows. They can always rattle off a size or distance when asked. Maybe it's just me, and I am unusual in that I have no concept of distance or size, but honestly if I saw a giant bird/alien/sea monster/bigfoot and someone asked me how big it was or how far away I wouldn't have a clue.

Now you would think that someone who works with material that comes in yards and inches would be able to calculate such things. Especially someone with my IQ. I don't even know how people do it.

The ironic thing is that on this show they decided to put it to a test. Someone made a giant bird kite and asked passers by to estimate how big it was. Some people came fairly close but not one person out of the dozens asked got it right.

So I have to wonder, am I odd in the respect that I can't tell the size or distance, or am I odd in the respect that I admit I can't? Hmm...

~*~ Jingle Kringle ~*~

Jingle also went up on ebay tonight:

Click to visit him

On A Wing And A Prayer

I have been insanely busy getting ready for this upcoming show so I haven't been posting properly. But the last few days something has been nagging me to tell a particular story about something that happened a few years ago. I am not sure why I keep feeling this urge to tell this...maybe someone out there needs to read it. I don't know, but at any rate I am giving in to the impulse:

Sometimes in our lives we come across something that we were taught at an early age that we have always taken to be absolute fact and then one day we discover that isn't true and it rocks our world.

I was raised with the notion that every person has their own guardian angel. But one day I discovered that it doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible. There is a phrase that could be interpreted to mean that, but it might not. For some reason finding this out really bothered me. To a degree it rocked my faith, I don't even know why. Not my faith in God maybe, perhaps just in knowing what all I had been taught is true. It's hard to explain in typed words exactly what I was feeling. But I wanted to know for an absolute certainty whether we have one or not. (I know what you're thinking; there is no way to ever know for certain right?) I didn't really stop to think about that part, I was on a tangent I wanted to KNOW. So I started looking at all these books on angels. I learned a great deal about angels and how they apply to many religions. The concept of angels has been around much longer than Christianity even.

Through my research I came across a book written by a man who was supposed to be THE authority on the subject. If anyone had answers it would be him. The problem was the book was out of print. I looked on ebay, I looked on Amazon, I called book stores and no one could get the book. I started going to the used bookstores around town trying to find the book.

By the time I got to the last used bookstore in town that I hadn't looked in I was feeling pretty despirited about it. I felt as if I would never have my answer if I couldn't find the book. So in I went.

Now I have always believed that miracles aren't so much about what happens, but more the timing of what happens. I think that sometimes the best miracles are small.

So I went into this last bookstore and asked about the book. The lady behind the counter said she didn't have it, but she must have seen the look of determination on my face so she kindly offered to go with me to double check the shelf anyway. The book wasn't there.

I went back out to my car and got in. I sat there for a moment then turned over the key. That's when I noticed it on my windshield. There was a white feather sitting on it directly in my line of sight. Now I know it was from a passing bird or the wind blew it there. But somehow it was like confirmation. It was as if an angel was passing by and just wanted to say don't worry we are watching over you. It calmed my concerns, restored my faith and I have been content ever since in the knowledge that one way or another something IS watching over us.

Happy Halloween!

Here it is Halloween. It doesn't really feel like it. Of course it's been fairly warm the last few days so that's a good thing. I had company all weekend and despite my having a rough time of it with the flu, we still managed to have a good time and do some things.

Today everyone left and I was all alone. I just took it kind of easy and didn't do much other than laundry and dishes. I rested up and watched some TV. I watched the special History had on this supposed lost book of Nostradamus. They proved three times during the show that the book couldn't possibly have originated from him despite the fact that his name was on the cover. Although they kept asserting that it had to be his. It made no sense to me. The book had some rather cryptic pictures in the back that they managed to translate as being the prediction for the end of the world which conveniently coincided with the Mayan doomsday. Of course the Mayans never technically said that December 21st, 2012 is the end of the word, it's simply the end of a long count (the end of a planetary "wobble") and we align precisely with the middle of the milky way on that day and the "dark road" opens . The reason we assume that is the end of the world is because they never recorded anything about the 15th long count. But then again we don't even know for certain that is true since the Spaniards destroyed about 90% of their writings.

Now they showed the pictures, and I wasn't quite so certain of their translation of them. As we all know art is subjective...much like Nostradamus's predictions. I have always had a problem with that notion. They explain that he had to write things in riddle form because if they knew at the time what he was doing by way of prophesying, he would be jailed or worse. But I have to wonder, if the man had this much ability to see into the future and predict events with such supposed precision, why couldn't he "see" a way around the problem and find a way to tell us straight forwardly what to expect. Lets go a step further even and take a leap of faith and say that he could predict all this vague stuff we have applied to history and one has to ask oneself...why him? Why out of all the people on the planet would the powers that be choose to bestow this information on him? If this information was so critical that we needed to have it, why isn't it given to all of us, or at very least a lot more of us? The whole thing just doesn't work for me. I keep hearing the phrase "Beware of false prophets" reverberating through my head.

I truly believe that if you make any statement about something in the future that will happen...if you wait long enough you can find an event to apply it to. If you read any ancient prediction you can find any current event it fits. We have some sort of strange gene that makes us incredibly fatalistic. Since the dawn of time we have been convinced the end is near. I don't think it is. I know a lot of things are happening that fit with the end of days predictions in Revelations, but that can be said of any time. If you look back at history, we live in that state. We are always at war, there are always famines and pestilence and drought and inhumanities of every unspeakable nature. But I am not quite ready to pick up my sandwich board proclaiming the end is near just yet.

To be honest with you I don't think the times we live in right now are so dire. I think we are doing pretty good. I still believe there are more good people than bad. I just think the perception that there are more bad than good is because we see the handful of bad ones in the media all the time. I think that the Internet has gone a long way to misinterpreting people's natures and intents when they speak because we don't hear voice inflection. But I think we still live in a degree of innocence. I wouldn't want to rely on the kindness of strangers in New York City or LA, but I think they are still out there.

We have come a long way, and we will still go a long way. Halloween is a testament to that fact, we still let our children go trick or treating to complete strangers houses. Houses that open the doors to complete strangers. If we didn't have a little faith and a little trust in each other we wouldn't do that! In the mean time have a fun filled holiday and don't eat too much candy.

~*~ Little Red Bird ~*~

I finally designed my bird I wanted, and I made one for Fall! I put it on ebay.

Click here

Looking For A Hair In An Artstack

I read this afternoon that someone was trying to figure out what happened to the Mona Lisa's eyebrows and eyelashes. Apparently they aren't sure if she ever had any or not, and they are trying to find out. I suspect she never had any, it was probably the fashion of the day and gave the appearance of an even higher forhead. I don't really see the problem, Whoopi Goldberg doesn't have any eyebrows and she seems just fine. They also seemed surprised to discover that the sky was a brighter blue and her skin was more of a pink when he originally painted it. Yeah shocker, cause 500 years of oxidation wouldn't change a thing.

I have always been utterly fascinated with Leo. Long since before Dan Brown got ahold of him. I guess I can relate to him on some level because he is an artist with a scientific mind. What irks me a bit is that now all anyone seems to focus on, other than the eyebrow guy, is the painting of the last supper thanks to the Da Vinci Code. I don't know why people put so much stock into it as proof of anything Jesus did. It's not as if Leo was sittin there painting it while they were eating. About 1400 years or so passed in between the main course and Leo's art du jour, so he really had no more information than we have now.

There has been a lot of discussion about art in my realm lately. I am sure Jung would be thrilled to know synchronicity is still alive and well, but I digress. The question discussed today was how we in the bear community could be taken more seriously as artists. I used to joke and say if it costs over $100 it's art. But in truth, I think the first step is to take yourself seriously as an artist. In the beginning I thought of myself as a toy maker, much like Drosselmeyer from the Nutcracker. While I like that fanciful notion, the truth is as I developed my style I also became a true artist. All my works involve unique, original pattern design, shaping and sculpting to turn a two dimentional piece of mohair into a three dimentional work. Painting to accentuate it, and embellishment in a myriad of varieties. I make one of a kind pieces almost exclusively. So, a quarter of a centure late, what in there makes me any less of a bonafide artist than a painter or sculpter?

All too often I think we get hung up on labels, and details like looking for Mona's missing eyebrows. We need to simply sit back and enjoy the things that the creative side of people's nature inspires them to bring to life without definition. Art is subjective, it always has been. The mystique of art is it's undefinable nature. When you think about it Drosselmeyer was an artist too, and Mona won't be any less of a work of art whether her eyebrows have faded over the years or if she never had any at all.

~*~ Paris ~*~

I've put Paris on ebay:
Click here

~*~ Hexabelle Bittersweet ~*~

Well I had to make one more Halloween piece. I have been working on stuff for the Ho Ho Oh BearZ online show next month and I am already thinking about Christmas. Anyway Hexabelle is on ebay, if you would like to have a look:

Click here

What?!

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. A-L G-O-R-E won the Nobel Peace Prize...no matter how many times I say it, it just doesn't make sense. They actually gave Al Gore a Nobel Peace Prize. It doesn't compute. I had more to say but I am so dumbstruck I can't...

Id And The Rose Colored Monocle

Something that very few people know about me is that I like to draw things on the computer with pixels. I am actually pretty good at it. It's just a hobby, and I haven't done it in a while. But a few years ago I made some little creatures for an anime' forum I go to. I called them "Misgivings." They were pretty funny and reflected all sorts of neurosis. But I made one just for my own amusement. His name is Id (yes I know, it was intentional) and you can see him above.

Id really is aptly named. He wears a rose colored monocle because half of him wants to believe the world is a pretty, happy place filled with kind, benevolent, well meaning people. But he can't ever quite believe it and half of him sees the ugly truth. So he can only see the world through a rose colored monocle instead of a full set of rose colored glasses. Someday I may recreate him as a bear, but for now I like his 2 dimentional toothy little visage as it is.

I have been trying to overcome Id and his outlook recently. I have decided not to take anything personally. That's a much taller order than you might think. When someone says something mean or catty I tell myself that they didn't mean it the way it sounded. I am sure I must have misunderstood them, or they are just having a bad day. I think assuredness of belief goes a long way to changing your outlook and quieting your own negative aspects of the Id. I am not sure I would want a full set of rose colored glasses however. I like walking that fine line between reality as it is and how I would like it to be, so for now a rose colored monocle will do just fine.

The Naked Truth

I just read that Spencer Tunick is going to do another piece in Miami involving 200 women and 100 pink rafts. For those of you who aren't familiar with him, he is an artist known for his photographs of hundreds of nude people in places, like Grand Central Station, Mexico City, Cleveland on the 9th street Pier and Amsterdam just to name a few. People have very intense reactions to his work. Some find it beautiful and think him a genius because it's so organic and the human body is a beautiful natural work of art. Others find him shocking and distasteful. I find him boring. The human body is the most over used subject in the entire history of art. It's not really surprising, humans have egos and we love self glorification. Especially in it's purest form...which just happens to be nude.

But I am bored with it, it's been done and done and done. I am not shocked, nor am I impressed, I find the whole thing to have banality to it. Artists are driven by a need to express creativity and there is none in nudes, no matter how you dress it up (pun intended) with settings and props. I am thrilled we aren't all still walking around wearing fig leaves because I think clothing hides a multitude of sins. I don't really find the human body that beautiful, even the ones in the best of shape. Now I am sure you're thinking that I probably have some sort of issues about my body, or nudity or sex or because I spilled my milk as a child. But you can put down your text book copy of Freud because that's not it.

To me art is something that evokes an emotion, evokes but not spells it out for the observer. I like to have my own interpretation of things, that's what art is supposed to allow for. I am much more impressed by artists who can create a river of moods through the use of textures and colors, even sounds and scents. Think about the rich color of distressed saddle leather cradling delicate golden roses, or the feel of crumbling parchment against rich, red velvet. Perhaps the haunting melody of Phil Collins singing "In The Air Tonight" or the missing scent of a woman who has just left the room wearing a fine perfume. Now that's art, not hundreds of anonymous palid naked bodies spooning each other on a cold morning in a park.

~*~ Nestor ~*~

I put Nestor on ebay:


Click here

Saints And Sinners

I had a few minutes while my mud mask is drying, so I thought I would take the opportunity to post. I've been so busy working lately, that I haven't had much time!

In fact, speaking of work...I had to go buy supplies yesterday. So while I was out, this guy cut me off driving. It was one of those slick looking Italian guys with a big truck that thinks the world owes him everything by nature of his very existence. You know the ones. Why is it that Italian guys always have that attitude? And they always have big trucks to match their astronomical egos. Those guys all too often seem attracted to me too, and I am not sure why. I am convinced they have a gene that predisposes them to want the wrong women, and I am definitely the wrong woman.

So anyway, after I left Hobby Lobby, it was incredibly windy. For some reason every time I go up there to buy stuffing, it's some sort of inclement weather. I had bought a few other things too, and the very long receipt blew out of my bag and across the parking lot. So I finished putting my things in the car, returned my cart and went to find the receipt. I had to find it, I just had this feeling that if I didn't find it something I had bought would need to be returned and they would hassle me about it. So here I am in the wind looking under cars and behind shrubs trying to figure out where it went.

This elderly gentleman was sitting in a car watching me with amused interest. Finally he leaned out the car window and asked what I was looking for. I told him my receipt had blown away. He said he saw it go by, and got out to help me look. He didn't even question why I wanted it so bad. We looked everywhere without success. He put his hand on my arm and said; When I was a boy we would say Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost that needs to be found." Then he chuckled and said; "If the thing was found, we put a little extra in the plate on Sunday."

Sure enough after he said it, I found the receipt. So I thanked him for his help and ran to my car to get out of the wind. But I thought about it all the way home. I am Lutheran, which is often referred to as Catholic light. But we don't do anything with Saints, so I don't really know anything about them. The thing that stuck in my head was how similiar invoking the help of a saint is to the Wiccans evoking the help of a spirit or god/goddess.

I often find the similiarities between relgions and their practices interesting. Now don't get me wrong, I am a Christian through and through, and that's not going to change. But I come from a long line of ancestral celts who had pagan/druid beliefs, so I have certain "open" thoughts on things that might be considered blasphemous. I have to wonder, is invoking the help of a Saint the right thing to do? I can't say, I am not one to judge and I will admit that I never go on a trip without my necklace for protection. It has a cross, a St. Christopher's medal and a tiger eye crystal. I guess I have all my bases pretty much covered. I think it would be vain to say that I know all, or that I know the mind of God. I just try to do the best I can, and sometimes my ancestors whisperings creep in...

All I know is we found the receipt. I guess I will have to throw a little extra in the plate this Sunday just in case! *Winks*

~*~ Trick Or Treat Box ~*~

You can find it on ebay: Click here

~*~ Sumenda ~*~

Sumenda is on ebay:
Click here

~*~ Battina Belfryda ~*~

I made a new pattern and of course she is on ebay:
Click here

~*~ Ghost ~*~

I also made "Ghost" and put her on ebay:

Click here for Ghost

Dirty Little Secrets And Things That Go Bump In The Night

We all have our dirty little secrets. Things we aren't proud of. Things we would rather not have the world know about us. But since I am a full disclosure kinda girl I am going to tell you mine...I like reality TV. *Shock, horror, oh noes* Yup it's true. I am not even ashamed of it any more. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I am going to come clean on something else; I love weird things. Ghosts, UFO's, Nessie...bring it on baby! Now don't confuse my love of weirdness for belief. They are not the same.

I do believe the universe is teaming with life, if you don't just study the Drake equation and get back to me. But I don't believe UFO's are coming here. It makes no sense. Why travel a kabillion skillion (Disclaimer: this is a rough estimation, not an exact figure, so if you go flyin around lookin for aliens and get lost don't blame me) miles to come here and play hide and seek with us? And seriously how many abductions would this "superior" race have to do before they got it right. I believe if they were advanced enough to get here they would either announce themselves outright or we would never know they came and went.

I don't believe in ghosts in the conventional sense either. I do believe that we leave a plasma imprint wherever we go and that during times of trama, that imprint is stronger. When you get a nice little electromagnetic field goin you can see those imprints. In our world of computers and electronic gadgetry our electromagnetic field output grows exponentially daily. So that accounts for larger numbers of ghost sightings. But as for souls trapped? I should hope not. I don't like reruns that much now, why would I want to relive something over and over and over after I am gone. Or if I were one of those cognizant sorts of ghosties why would I want to take all my afterlife energy to open and close doors, slide chairs around or pull someone's hair? It just doesn't make sense. I believe the afterlife holds more for us than that. And a little note for those of you who believe that this is it, there is no afterlife...I have a little basic scientific proof for ya. Energy doesn't die. Once energy is created it travels around the universe forever. So your energy that keeps your electrical synapses goin will simply leave your body, but it won't stop being. Think about that will ya! There is a quote from a book I read once that was so fitting, it said: "Science and religion are not at odds, science is simply too young to understand yet." Isn't that fabulous!

Now when it comes to Nessie...that one I believe in. There IS somethin in that lake. I could go into the whole marine biology speech on why I think that but I won't since you've already had physics. Nuff said!

All this doesn't stop me from watching every UFO show, Ghost Hunters which I love (Go Jason and Grant, woo!) and a whole host of other mind numbing crap on TV. I love other kinds of reality TV too. The Bachelor, Family Jewels, and Survivor just to name a few. I don't like American Idol though, I don't think they should be so mean to people who have the guts to go try out. If they are bad just thank them politely for their time and move on. Why does that english guy have to be so rude? One of my greatest regrets is that I cannot sing, and it gives me terror to even think about singing in front of someone. I once ran out of a choir final in high school crying because I had to sing solo and my fear was so great. I feel the same way about rollercoasters too. I would rather take on all the aliens, ghosts and sea monsters you can find than sing or go on a roller coaster. *Shudders*

So there you have it, those are my dirty little secrets. *Hangs her head in shame* And now I have to get back to things that go bump in the night...in the way of a spectral rabbit I am workin on, tis the season for things ghostly!

Princess Of The Powder Room

I did it, I really did it. I managed to clean the powder room. Don't you think every woman should be able to wear a tiara to clean? Wouldn't that make it better? I love crowns, I think everyone should have a couple. It just makes things better. How much would you feel like Cinderella if you were cleaning the powder room with a crown, knowing that at the end of the dirt and drudgery Prince Charming would be waiting for you. Ok so he wasn't waiting exactly, but he was waiting for my call to tell him I was done and going to bed. He will be home later, where he can admire my handiwork and give the proper accolades. Cleaning the powder room is a royal job alright!

When I was a little girl we were very poor. So every year at Halloween I always wanted to be a princess. To me, being a princess would have meant that I could have my own room instead of sleeping on the couch and brand new dresses instead of second hand ones. I was 11 before I learned that dishes and towels came in sets because my Grandmother could only afford to buy them one at a time at the Goodwill. I am rather happy over the electic nature of how we lived, so don't feel sorry for me. I have a very unique perspective and style all my own now that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Besides matching dishes and towels aren't really that important when you're a child, my grandmother's love and teachings were worth far more than anything we could have bought with a lot of money.

Much later in life I discovered that the clan I decended from actually had castles all over Scotland. Combined with being a Leo, I think that is what developed my love of regal frippery. The truth is I wouldn't want the Queen Mother's crown. That's not nearly as much fun as the ones you make yourself from whatever you have lying around to suit the occasion or mood. I think I might make some fairy crowns to put on the website...but first I must go to bed, because I seem to be procrastinating on that as well!

~*~ Plum Von Pomme ~*~

I made a bunny...I rarely do that. She is on ebay of course:

Click here to see her

Never Trust A Man Who Doesn't Like Cats

Yesterday I was moping around about the fact that the bears aren't getting bids on ebay. I'm telling you ebay is brutal. I have worked hard for a couple decades to build a reputation and on ebay it's all for naught. Selling on the internet is a whole new territory and it's going to take a lot to claim it. As God as my witness, I shall presever! (Shakes her fist.) Sorry I had a Scarlett moment...anyway I was talking to my mother on the phone and lamenting over it once again. I am apparently not as developed in the brain pan as I need to be to bring bids into being with the sheer force of positive thoughts as "The Secret" suggests I should be either.

My mother made a simple statement, she said; "In a year you will be so busy you won't be able to keep up!" The thing is, when she said it I knew right to the very core of my being it was true. Take that Secret! Ha! Sometimes people say something to us off the cuff that turns out to be prophetic in nature and we know...just KNOW that it's going to be true the moment it escapes their lips. I know you might laugh, and say I'm being superstitious, but we are in fact hot wired for precognition. We live in a precognitive state 100% of the time in fact. Most people don't know that. We get information a second or two before each thing we experience happens. It's what keeps us from having heart attacks from perpetual shock and surprise. Basically we are living on a slight time delay. But sometimes we just get information earlier than the second we are used to. How does it work? There is a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo about electrical impulses firing too hard in your neural synapses and crossing of dendrite pathways and such, but no one really knows. The brain is a mystery.

So is my mother. She has never been one of those types of mothers to just dispense wisdom at the drop of a hat. It's fine because I have enough of those little kernels of wisdom for the both of us. But in my teenage years she did tell me two things that stuck. Why it was these two things I am not sure. The first thing she told me is "If you've got it flaunt it, and if you don't flaunt it anyway." Depending on your definition, I've got "it" and for better or worse, I've been known to flaunt it. Interpret that how you will.

The other thing she said was ; " Never trust a man who doesn't like cats." When it comes to men most mothers tell their daughters how to behave or what to look for on a more in depth personality basis. The thing is, I don't think she could have given me a better piece of advice. As it turns out the worst guy I ever dated couldn't stand cats. There were a couple others that didn't care much for them either and they had other unattractive personality traits that were ultimately deal breakers. R on the other hand is a big softy who loves all animals, cats included. Oh sure he tries to act tough like he doesn't care that much. But he never leaves home without a goodbye kiss for me, a pat on the head for the dogs and a scratch under the chin for Basil. Gypsy is still too young to have figured out the goodbye routine yet, but he will scratch her chin as well if she is in the vicinity.

Sadly I don't have daughters of my own, but if I did I am sure I would pass out all sorts of advice they didn't want to listen to, because I would have been that kind of mother. But the one thing I would make sure to impress upon them is never trust a man who doesn't like cats. You realize of course that these writings will slow down as the year progresses because I am going to be so busy...my mother said so!

~*~ Miss Widdershins ~*~

Click here to see her!

Since I haven't been tortured enough I thought I would put another bear on ebay!

~*~ Alice ~*~

I just posted Alice on ebay: Click here

Up, Up And Away!

We went to the Colorado Balloon Classic this morning bright and early. It was a perfect day for it. All too often it's windy, cold or rainy so they don't launch. Normally I can't drag myself out of bed that early either. But last night I had a little too much to drink and crashed really early since I don't drink much and I can't hold my booze like I could 20 years ago! *Laughs* The good news is it allowed me to stay awake this morning so I could go. I don't know why the balloons are inspire us to awe, but they really do. Someday I would like to go up in one. I've always wanted a dirigible actually...but there aren't a lot of those available, and finding parking for one is rough. I took the pics above while I was there! Now I am goin to bed.

A Storm In My Brain

Today started out to be what my Grandmother always called "a pea soup day." It was foggy and cold and I was certain Autumn was upon us. Fortunately it warmed up nicely because even though I've started working on Halloween items I am not ready for summer to end. I kind of feel as if I'm owed another month's worth since we had rain nearly every afternoon in August. Mother Nature can be capricious, keeping us on our toes in Colorado, some years are just like that with rain all summer. I remember a few years back it was in the 80's in the early part of December. I've even seen snow in July.

Anyway I have been getting increasingly excited. I am FINALLY going to put together a website. It's something I should have done long, long...LONG ago, but something seems different now. I am ready. I am not sure why I wasn't ready before, I just wasn't. Something intangible feels different to me. It's hard to explain.

I have barely been able to sleep because my over wrought brain has been working hard trying color combinations and clever backgrounds and fonts and logos and hang tags and shipping labels, oh my! Thrown into the mix are about a bazillion and two new ideas for bears and other critters which I want to try all today, right this minute.....NOW! *Laughs* I know exactly what I want to do, of course I knew what I wanted to do yesterday, and last week, and a few days before that...and it always changes because there are so many wonderful things I could do. My husband says I am in a "creative snit," and a friend says I have a "storm in my brain" which I really find funny. It conjurs up a much better visual to say it that way rather than a brain storm. In fact I am off in just a second to let some of the storm bluster away.

I just wanted to take a moment and post. I find I like posting to the blog, it's sort of calming and fun. Especially now that I know two people are reading it. I am really surprised by that. I don't know why, I have been reading other people's blogs for a long time. It's a funny dynamic to never know where you are in the world. I used to feel this way at shows. I would go to a well established show and think people would know right off who I was, only to have them say "Now who are you again?" It's so humbling, but I think we need that good swift kick in the ego sometimes. Then I would go to a new show in a remote area thinking people wouldn't have a clue who I was and be treated like royalty. I guess that's part of the job description. At least I know who I am, and that's a good thing. Right now I know I am a woman who has a full force gale building up in her brain!

More Sadness

I was hoping to have a lot of nice cheery posts in a row since anyone who might stumble upon this and read it doesn't know me and will think I am very depressing. But I am not going to be able to do that just yet. It's been a tough month. Yesterday I had to have my dear sweet Shelby cat put to sleep. Now I know ultimately it was the right thing to do. She was old and had gone blind but she was doing very well, anyway until Saturday. Saturday as near as I can tell she had a stroke. If it wasn't that, then something else went horribly wrong somewhere, and she was having trouble standing up, eating, breathing and even being aware of where she was. So yes, it was the right thing to do because I couldn't let her suffer, and I am very certain she probably wouldn't have made it more than a few days longer. The one in this who I am sad for is myself. But that's always the way of death, it's the ones left behind that feel the pain. When someone or something shares a big part of your life for 16 years you can't help but feel a horrible hole in your heart and your life. As far as cats go, she was incredibly intelligent and intuitive to my wants and needs. She was funny with a cocky attitude right from the moment she strolled in our door despite malnutrition. For the first few weeks she slept curled around the food dish because she was afraid it might empty and not be refilled. Once she figured out that there would always be food, she set about becoming queen of her little kingdom. Even the giant chows always deferred to her wishes. She learned a couple clever tricks, being able to say "mama" and "milk." She even won me a camera once by taking first place when I entered her in a cute kitty contest. I miss my friend. Anyone who has never had a pet, or doesn't have a natural affinitiy for animals wouldn't probably understand being friends with one. But it's definitely possible and a shame that some people miss out on that special type of friendship. You never get that kind of unconditional affection from another human being no matter how much they might love and care about you. I will miss that little scrap of fur, and even though I have two others, there will never be another Shelby. Rest in peace, I will miss you! Shelby ~ 1991-2007

~*~ Summer Dreams Bear ~*~

I have listed Summer Dreams on ebay for a very good opening price!http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170142001160