Friday, July 31, 2009

Thinking Ahead

I am frequently surprised by how my blog posts effect others, but I am occasionally even more surprised by how they effect me. Monday's inspiration post on France actually did inspire me on to something I had been thinking about.

When you are an artist, if you make holiday pieces you have to always be thinking ahead by a few months. So even though it's only August, it's time to think about Halloween. In fact I have been thinking about it for a month. I have been trying to come up with something fun and unique to make to fit the holiday. Of course there will be a bear or two, but I wanted to make something new.

Yesterday morning since I was going to go meet my friend, I had gone to bed early. My Mother didn't realize that though and called me at 4:11 am to see if we had a bad storm. She woke me out of a sound sleep. As it turned out that was a good thing.

After I talked to her, I crawled back into bed and an idea just fell out of the proverbial sky. I don't know where it came from, but when I told her about it later she said it's a good thing she woke up...if she hadn't, I might have slept through it. *Laughs*

It's very difficult to come up with something truly original that has never been done before, the best most of us can hope for is putting a unique spin on something. I think I may have figured that out.

While I am not going to tell you what my idea was just yet, I will tell you that it will be a French Noir inspired (the fashion style, not the film style) stuffed animal. It's going to be a new animal for me, but I feeling pretty confident it will turn out well.

As soon as I get the bear I am working on finished, I will get busy on drawing the pattern, so with some luck you will see the first one next week. Stay tuned!

<3 K.

A Girl Day

About ten years ago I had a nice handful of female friends who lived here in the same town that I do. But sadly over the course of the next few years one passed away, two moved, one took to the task of raising her grand baby on top of an already large and demanding family and literally had no time for anything or anyone anymore, one took a job that didn't allow for much time for anyone but her husband...and barely even him, and one found a renewed romance and passion for her husband through a new hobby that consumes all their time. So one day I woke up and realized I had no local friends.

I still have quite a few friends, but the closest lives an hour and a half away. When you work at home alone and have no children to meet other parents, it's really difficult to meet people. I have often heard the same thing from both strangers and my other friends who live far away alike. I am pretty sure there are a lot of adults in this same boat. If the thought wasn't so scary as to who would respond I swear I would make a website dedicated to getting people together to be pals.

Day before yesterday my friend who does only live an hour and a half away called and said she was house sitting about 45 minutes away and asked if I would like to meet her for lunch and shopping. I nearly jumped at the chance, I hadn't had a "girl day" in so long.

I have to tell you, we had SO much fun yesterday. She and I have been friends for about 25 years and we never find ourselves at a loss for things to talk about. In fact at one point we laughed until we cried over coffee.

We started out by having a wonderful lunch at The Old Stone Church in Castle Rock. It's a restaurant that actually used to be a church and was built in 1888. They have an amazing and unique menu, and the food was excellent.

Then we decided to make a run up to Denver for coffee and to visit some shops that are really fun, and ended up spending more than we should have. We returned to Castle Rock and went to one of the most incredible antique shops I have ever seen. We came out with even more treasures.

As I was driving home I thought about how much I miss having girl days. While I have no issue with going places and doing things alone, or waiting for R on the weekends, I wish I didn't always have to. I have no idea how to meet people anymore. People constantly talk to me when I am out in public, but it always seems as if it's in passing even when they share intimate details of their lives. Maybe I should try to further those conversations into something...I just don't know. I am not sure if I am supposed to? I think it's like dating. When you haven't had to date in a few decades you don't know what the unspoken rules would be anymore.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Cat Naps

Years ago when I had surgery, I discovered that sleeping with a body pillow was much more comfortable and kind of acted as a protective barrier for my stomach while I healed. After I healed, I had grown used to sleeping with it. I usually face it and throw my top leg over the pillow.

When I brought Rizzo home she was only 5 weeks old. She was an ornery little scrap of fur who fell instantly in love with R the moment she laid her big golden eyes on him. While she decided to be his cat, she also understood that I was the authority figure and the one to learn how to do basic things from, like where to eat and what not to climb or scratch on. While she respected my authority, she wasn't that fond of me. Gypsy couldn't stand her, and wanted nothing to do with her. This included teaching her how to be a cat. That's probably for the best because Gypsy is an odd animal with strange habits unlike any cat I have ever owned. She is funny though! Good natured Basil took it all in stride, but he isn't much of a teacher either.

When Rizzo was approaching a year old, she finally decided I wasn't so bad, and started sitting on my lap and sleeping with me more. I also noticed that she started picking up habits from the other cats, dogs and even me. I suppose this is because she came to our house at such a tender age that she wasn't really sure which role model to follow.

One morning I went to bed, got into my usual position on my side, and threw a leg over the body pillow ready to go to sleep. Rizzo crawled in bed, laid down on the body pillow and threw a hind leg over my leg as if it were her body pillow. I thought it was funny and just a rare occurrence. She has slept that way almost daily since.

It's kind of funny the things animals pick up from the other members of their household. I don't think it's uncommon for them to learn from each other, but it is odd to me that they pick up things from the humans in their lives.

Gypsy, who has always been "Mom's baby" has all sorts of odd habits she has picked up from me too. When I pluck my eyebrows I stand in the bathroom and lean over the sink so I can see in the big mirror. Gypsy is always right there standing on the counter on her hind legs leaning over looking into the mirror as well. I am sure she has no idea what I am doing, but if I am doing it...then so should she. She also thinks that everything I own is hers. She loves my makeup and makeup brushes, and my jewelry. I have often found her with these things in her possession. When I take them away, she gets really annoyed. Her favorite thing to take is a particular diamond ring I have. I have caught her trying to figure out how to get it on her paw on several occasions. I guess that makes sense to her since that's where I wear it. What can I are a girls best friend right?

She has odd sleeping habits of her own. She will happily fall asleep on her back with her back legs dangling over the edge of a sofa or on her stomach on the back of my chair without hanging on. She will also sleep on the bed on her back with her head on the pillow just like a person would.

My two dogs, Buster and Jazzy have a couple habits they have picked up from us as well. I also noticed they have a few things they picked up from the cats. Luckily they all get along really well together.

I guess if you're not an animal person you can't really find the humor in the things they do, but I am a great animal lover and it's so fun to watch the odd personality quirks they have and that they learn from each other and us.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ad Frustrations

I am the sort of person who likes things to be perfect. I know they can't be, but I can't help who I am either.

So last night I got the new issue of Teddy Bear & Friends. I had done my second ad in it for the year. Now when I did the first ad I was working on an old computer. The ad didn't look as good as I had hoped, but it was ok.

After that ad I got a beautiful new computer. Now I knew the monitor displayed things brighter and lighter. But I guess I didn't realize exactly how much. This second ad looked good on my monitor. The colors were good. Sadly when the magazine arrived I was horrified to discover the bear is so dark you can barely tell what it is. The writing blends in. It was extremely frustrating and disheartening. Especially since ads don't come exactly cheap.

I guess I will give the next issue another shot, I hope this next ad comes out much better than this one did. R said I am my own worst critic, and while he may be right...when something is just plain bad, it is. Sigh~

Monday, July 27, 2009

When You Have Self Doubts...

Monday Love & Inspiration: Paris

As promised, I said there would be a new feature on Mondays. Most people aren't that fond of Mondays, so I thought why not kick off every week with something happy and fun. So the new Monday feature is going to be Monday Love/Inspiration. It will be something I love or something that inspires me...or as in the case of today, both! With some luck it will inspire you too. To start off, I want to cover Paris.

When I was in 8th grade we had a French foreign exchange student from Paris. She laughed loudly in a deep throaty laugh and was a little rude, although I think that was from the translation more than intent since she didn't speak english that well. She wore the strongest spiciest perfume I have ever smelled, and always wore red lipstick even at that age. She also had an wild and amazing sense of style. While we were only friends in passing, I was absolutely fascinated by her. She seemed so effortless somehow, while all of my American friends and I were trying so hard at that age to figure out who we were.

Even before that Paris seemed to be a mystical sort of place. It's called the City Of Light and known for romance, how could that not be magical? My desire to go there has carried over into my house and my life in little ways. If you were to walk into my bedroom, the first thing that would most likely catch your eye would be the 4 foot Eiffel Tower statue I have on my dresser. I also have art of Paris on the walls in the family room. While I have been up in the half scale model in Las Vegas, one of my fondest wishes is to see the real deal.

I am not sure if it would be the way I imagine it or not, but I suspect it would be wonderful in ways I haven't imagined. Quite often I fall prey to something from or about Paris. I have a pair of red flower earrings that came from there that I simply adore.

Recently I picked up a book that caught my eye. It's called "Paris: Made By Hand" by Pia Jane Bijkerk. It covers 50 shops in Paris that sell handmade goods, or items to make your own. It's such a charming book, the pictures are lavish and it was filled with so much inspiration that I couldn't help but drink it in like cafe' au lait! She has even included website addresses for these wonderful shops.

Everything about Paris fascinates me, the architecture, the food, the culture, those fabulous Parisian women who walk everywhere and dress so chic without even trying. I know some day the dream will become a reality and I will go there. I wonder where those Parisian women dream of going?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Weekend

My birthday ended up being rather quiet, but I still had a little fun. I did get a lovely surprise in the way of R actually making it home on time and he brought me flowers! It was a beautiful bouquet with lots of pinks, which of course is my favorite color. He offered to take me out to eat but I still wasn't quite feeling that great so instead he went to Chili's and brought home steak and portobello fajitas...mmmm!

I would also like to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes, that was very sweet! Sometimes when I make blog posts I am just putting to font what is in my brain and I never think about how people will react when they read it. I swear I wasn't going for pity, and I didn't mean it to sound that way!

Yesterday I felt better finally, so we went to the Renaissance Festival in Larkspur. We filled up on "steak on a stake," watched a few shows and shopped around a little. I didn't take my camera because we have been quite a few times in the past and I didn't even think of it. I wish I had though, we watched this terribly funny magician from France and he called R up to the stage to assist with a card trick. He was making a little sport of R and I laughed so hard I almost cried.

I also picked up a few trinkets, including the crown ring and the shoe charm shown above. We made it home just in time before the storm hit. We had a pretty good house shaker. I grabbed a quick shower, then curled up and fell asleep til almost midnight.

Today since I am feeling better I am going to finally make it to the Hallmark store (I have been trying to go for a week) and then off the gym. It's been a pretty good weekend!

Tomorrow I am going to start a new Monday feature, so watch for it!

Hugs, K.

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Birthday Curse

So here it is, my birthday. I have notoriously bad birthdays. I am not sure why, but they are always bad.

When R announced yesterday he was going to have to work late today, I thought this one was shaping up true to form. He later said he would "try" to not have to be late. But I know how it goes. I have no plans and nothing to do really. I received one card from my mother, with a check inside which was very nice of her, and that's it so far. I know I am not getting a present from R, which is fine because I got it months ago and am typing on it. So there won't be any pretty paper with bows to rip open.

With the onset of midnight I sat here moping a bit. I am not really thrilled about this birthday anyway, it makes me feel old. Maybe it's because at 46 I have crossed to the downhill side towards 50. I am not sure. I don't feel 46...but then what is it supposed to feel like?

Starting at a young age and going on for many...many...probably too many years, I waited every July 24th for something magical and unexpected to happen that would make me feel really special. I am not sure where I got the idea something magical and unexpected should happen. I just always thought it should, after all your birthday is special right? I have always tried to make sure everyone in my world had a special and magical birthday even though they don't really seem to care about it. I did have a birthday party when I was 10 and a few lunches with friends since then. Of course R usually takes me out to dinner. Although this year we agreed not to because my stomach has been upset with this thing I am fighting.

After many years of that day passing calmly and unassumingly - or disastrously on some years, into the mists of history I realized it wasn't going to happen. So as I was sitting here moping, I got to thinking...perhaps I just have to make my own magic! I started with a wish. Now I don't have a pocket full of fairy dust, but I do have a case full of glitter so I dipped in a finger or two, blew it off and made a wish. In case you're curious what the picture is above, that was it. (I can't tell you what it was, sorry. We want it to come true after all, right?)

I am not sure what today will bring, but I am confident that if I keep the wish in my heart all day and believe it will happen...just maybe it might. Maybe this will be the year that will finally break the birthday curse!

Monday, July 20, 2009

One Small Step For A Woman

History is filled with defining moments that change lives. 40 years ago today Neil Armstrong stepped out on the moon's cratered surface and made that infamous comment. I read yesterday that we actually have it wrong. It wasn't one small step for man, it was one small step for "a" man, one giant leap for mankind. To be honest, I think I like that better.

At any rate it was one of those moments that changed lives. But lets back up a little to what most likely happened before that step. Those astronauts were approached to go to the moon. Somewhere that they had never gone before. Scary huh? I would be scared.

When they accepted, that was really the first small step. They had a rigorous training to complete, and then they stepped into Apollo 11. That was another small step in the direction of the ultimate goal. I am sure they were probably hovering somewhere between a little nervous and absolutely terrified when they took that step. But they made it, and they made history. They had a lot of help to reach that goal.

This afternoon as I was opening the window in the bedroom, I caught a glimpse of another cratered surface. My thighs. I was standing near the full length mirror when I opened the window and the light was just right to show me every flaw in absolute clarity. It was horrifying. When did that happen? Where did I get those legs?

I haven't been going to the gym the last couple weeks because I have been fighting a flu of some sort. I haven't been eating much or very healthily, and I have lost weight. It doesn't count though, because being sick isn't a way to get healthy. I went to the doctor and he put me on antibiotics which seem to be working.

Even before that my heart hasn't really been in going to the gym. I meet R and it's at a bad time of day for me. I am better exercising at night when I am alert and awake. Plus I don't like fighting rush hour traffic to get there and all the kids that are there that time of day.

Seeing the horror that has become my thighs really hit home with me today. I remember reading an article in a magazine where they asked women on the street what their New Year's resolution was. One woman answered to exercise for one minute a day. Now you might think, one minute? What could that do? What it did was motivate her to get off of her couch. One minute isn't intimidating and it soon turned into five, and then twenty and then an hour. She said once she got started it was easy.

Like the astronauts being told they were going to the moon, the proposition of losing weight and maintaining a healthier life style is really intimidating for many women. I am one of those women. It's a long scary journey and we aren't sure we will succeed. I would be willing to bet that a few times Neil Armstrong thought about chucking the whole project and keeping his feet firmly planted right where he was.

I don't intend to turn this into a weight loss blog. Nor do I intend to change anyone's history but my own. I also know myself well enough to know I need to be accountable somehow. To make this journey I need to open myself up and be vulnerable and expose a very difficult and personal side of my life. I also need support...all the support I can get. So I am going to make small posts to record my progress.

I am going to start out small so it doesn't seem to overwhelming or scary. Tomorrow my goal is to exercise for five minutes and eat at least one really healthy thing even if I don't feel well. When I feel well enough to go to the gym again, I am going to try to embrace the experience and not look at it as drudgery.

I know I will have missteps along the way, but with your help and support and my accountability I think I can do this. Right now I am going to go get on the treadmill for at least five minutes even though I still don't feel well. I am sure I can endure five minutes and take that first small step.

(Edit: Normally when I go to the gym, I work out for about 45 minutes. But when you're sick 5 minutes actually is pretty brutal. I did it though!)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

James Rollins Made My Day!

Don't you love it when you find an author whose work you really like. Last year on one of my many trips to Barnes & Noble I was perusing the aisles looking for something new. I had finished all of Steve Alten's books and wanted something else exciting to read. A paperback jumped out at me, it was called "Map Of Bones." The cover was right up my alley, and inspired me to pick it up.

When I read what the book was about it certainly sounded intriguing. I noticed some of his other titles and started reading the back covers of them all. I left the store with three of his books. I read "Subterranean" first. It was fun and exciting and a little silly. Next I read "Map Of Bones" and liked it even better. I read four more of his books and had three more waiting to be read. He tends to use topics in his books that I am familiar with, which makes them all the more enjoyable. I love history, science and theology and intermingling those are common themes for him. Even R read a couple and he isn't a big reader. He wants to read the rest though.

A while back I was again in Barnes & Noble to get the latest installment from Steve Alten, when I saw his latest book had also been released; "The Doomsday Key." I never buy hardback books, but since I love both authors I splurged and got them both. I read Steve's book first since I had been waiting so long for it. Then I read "The Black Order" from James Rollins. I think I liked that one the best. I am no stranger to quantum theory, die glocke and most of the other things he used in the plot.

This morning I started reading "The Doomsday Key." I only read a little and thought I should go to bed. I flipped to the back of the book though to see if there might be an excerpt from his next book. Instead I found a section telling what was real in the book and what isn't. I didn't want to read it however, because I didn't want to know what happens. I am not one of those people who flips to the ending, I like to wait til I get there.

The very last line caught my eye said something about "go buy Kowalski a bear, he earned it." Right above that it said that Sixpenny Bears in Hawkshead is a real place that only sells teddy bears.

Now I have no idea who Kowalski is yet, or why there is a teddy bear shop in this type of book...but I can't wait to find out. How exciting is it that an author I like so well has included a reference to a teddy bear shop in his work! It's certainly not a common thing to see in a novel, and helps me identify even more with his work. As a bear artist, that thought makes me very happy...and it made my day!

(On a side note, going back to a post I made last week about the possibility of writing a book of my own...I outlined two possible options for stories. They are characters and plots I have had in my head for years, and finally fleshed them out a bit and set them to font. I will keep you updated.)

Friday, July 17, 2009

~*~ Robyn ~*~

Here he is! Here is my little nature lover enjoying a warm day in Colorado! You can visit Robyn on my website on the bears page:

Thursday, July 16, 2009

It's Just Like Riding A Bicycle

I am happy to say I finally...FINALLY finished the bear. I am hoping to get pictures today after I run my errands so you should be able to see him tonight or tomorrow. He is just a simple little bear, but I didn't feel he needed too much accoutrement.

It's kind of a funny thing when I go without making a bear for a while I have this niggling self doubt that for some reason I won't be able to do it again. Of course I always do. In fact quite often those bears exceed my expectations. I am not sure why I have that fear. Probably just another artistic neurosis.

I was expressing my concern recently and a friend said don't be silly, it's just like riding a bicycle. The thing is I bought a bicycle a couple years ago. I hadn't been on one since I was a teenager unless you count the stationary bikes at the gym, and I don't. While I still remembered how to ride, it wasn't easy. The mind was willing but the body protested the challenge quite a bit at first.

I guess the good news is, I can still ride and make a bear, it just sometimes takes me a little longer than it did when I was younger to get to my destination! =}

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Origami Spider

We have had a terrible summer in Colorado. We have those every few years. So far we have only had 2 or 3 days that it didn't rain. It's been wreaking havoc on my sinus's. But it's been wonderful for our water shortage. We have hardly had to water the grass at all.

With the wet weather comes a whole variety of creepy crawly little critters that decide they would be happier in my house where it's dry. I think most people have a dislike for creepy crawlies. While I am not opposed to killing something that comes in my house, if I find it outside I tend to leave it alone with the notable exceptions of earwigs and the legions of ants I talked about in a previous post.

But the other day I noticed a spider web in the corner of my back door frame. It was on the outside. I noticed it when I turned on the porch light to let the dogs out. The light hit it and illuminated it against the dark sky. It was incredibly intricately woven. More so than any spiderweb I have ever seen. I had a momentary mental flash to Charlotte's Web. I didn't see it's spinner any where though.

The next day we had a terrible house rocking rain/wind/thunder/lightning storm. I noticed the delicately woven web had been torn away by the storm. The next night I was surprised to see another web had been spun in it's place. This time it was occupied however.

I have never seen a spider like this one before. It was average size, nearly all white and had the oddest shaped body I have ever seen. It's body was shaped like one of those origami boxes that you blow into and puff up after you fold it.

Despite the fact that it rather gave me chills to look at it, it was kind of fascinating. However I noticed that the web was partially attached to the door and I didn't want this thing to come into my house. So when R got up I asked him to get rid of it. Because I had visions of getting it caught in my hair if I did it. (Over the years I have had three spiders caught in my hair and it still gives me the willies to even think about it.)

A few years ago I saw a show on TV where they had created a maze out of pipes with quite a few dead ends. They had put a spider at one end, and a fly at the other. The spider sat there for a few moments not moving. Then she set out, she made it all the way across the maze to the fly without a single misstep or wrong turn. The scientists studying the spiders behavior didn't really have an answer for how she did it. They just knew she did it every time. They also said that spiders can live for years. Some varieties in the Amazon can live up to 100 years. I was surprised to find that out, I assumed they were short lived like most other bugs.

I have noticed in my own dealings with some of them that seem to possess a pretty high intelligence level for something with such a tiny brain, or at very least a keen instinct for survival.

R was going to kill my little friend, and I asked him not to. Instead he took a bowl with a lid and moved him over to the tree where there would be plenty of bugs to be caught in a web. I know that might seem sort of silly. It was one spider right?

But it had just as much right to life as anything else, and how I could put an end to something that could spin such a beautiful work of art. I felt good about it as I went to sleep. I had heard long ago that white spiders are good luck, but perhaps the luck was gifted upon my little crawly friend when he chose my house to spin his web instead.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Bachelorette

I have admitted before that I do like to watch some reality TV. I just finished up Expedition Africa last night and I loved it. While I don't think they were in quite as much peril as they would have liked us to believe since there were so many sky shots and it was clear there was a helicopter following them, it was still fun to watch and I do believe they had a difficult time. I have always wanted to go on an expedition and after seeing it, while I would be terrified I would still go.

I like shows like the Amazing Race and Survivor, but I like some that is a little less on par with those types of shows. I have to confess to watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. Maybe it goes back to the Dating Game from when I was a kid. Of course with the Dating Game they were only going to go on a date and they spent an afternoon getting to know each other. It's also fun to gab about it with my friend Pat. This series is supposed to help one person find true love by choosing out of numerous possible matches.

There are a lot of this type of show on TV and I have to be honest, I don't get it. It's fun to watch the fairytale dates and the drama, but to take something like this seriously is a bit hard. It entails one person choosing about 15 people of the opposite sex to get to know and find "the one." The contestants are usually young and of an above average attractiveness. So I find myself wondering...after you weed through the ones who just want to be on TV to get to the ones who are there for the genuine possibility of finding love...what's wrong with them? Why can't they find love the way the rest of us do out in the real world?

It seems to me that most of them must have some serious type of personality defect that keeps them from finding someone just by going out into public, and believing they could find love with a fickle stranger that wants to have their cake and eat it too on TV. First of all you have to be a certain type of person just to subject yourself to the humiliation of being chosen from the herd like cattle at an auction. You also have to be the type of person who can deal with group dating on a large scale. The person doing the choosing always has the same conflicts, they can never decide which person they want, they don't know at the very end what the right thing to do is, they have never had a tougher time, blah blah blah. (And they say this stuff isn't scripted.) Not only is it scripted, they don't bother to change the script from season to season. It's also pretty obvious that unless the person seeking love is completely blind that the less savory choices are kept on much longer than they should be for ratings as in the case of creepy Wes. I don't care if that guy's records go quadruple platinum I would never buy one.

With the exception of Trista and Ryan every couple has broken up as far as I know. They tend to check back in on them during future seasons. They always seem so surprised that they didn't stay together. I don't see how you could. They create these magical and unrealistic settings for dates and then they expect them to be able to create a life together in the real world. The real world is harsh and relationships are a lot of work. On these shows the work is done for them. No one has to plan anything, they just have to show up.

In the end one person always leaves utterly heartbroken. Actually I think sometimes the heartbreak is really just humiliation, but they knew that was a chance going in.

A couple times I have found myself rooting for one person or another, but after it's over I forget their names. It's meaningless entertainment for me as a viewer and background noise while I work. For the contestants, I can't imagine what it is. But I do know this much, it's not reality.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Treasure Hunting

Yesterday could only be described as a comedy of errors. I had my day planned perfectly. R was going to be out of town for the night and I had to go get my yearly mammogram at 1:30. So I thought I would get up at noon, get ready and go do it. Then grab a salad somewhere and head off to this massive antique mall we have.

I have been pretty good about curbing my shopaholic ways lately and I haven't been antiquing in ages. I had been feeling the pull to go there for about a week. I just knew some wondrous treasure was awaiting me.

I set my alarm for noon and asked my Mom if she could call me as a back up measure since sometimes the cats walk on the alarm and shut it off. I had to leave the phone on the hook in order to get my call. Normally I take it off the hook when I sleep since most of the world has no respect for day sleepers.

I stayed up a little too late finishing my book, and then I couldn't sleep. So I didn't get to sleep til nearly 8:30 am. The phone rang at 9:05 with an obnoxious man who called me a liar despite not knowing a thing about me. I was rather upset over it and didn't get back to sleep for nearly 45 minutes. Just as I was finally dozing off again the neighbors workmen who are putting in their new lawn had a small forklift taking things to their back yard. The beeping noise kept me awake for quite a while. At 10:30 as I was dozing off again the phone rang. It was my Mother, she thought I had to be at my appointment at noon and was calling to wake me up. I am sorry to say I was a little rude to her out of frustration for which I apologized later. I laid down again and dozed off for a third time only to have the doorbell ring and the dogs start barking like mad at 11:10. The utility guy needed to replace something on our meter. At this point I gave up.

I came downstairs, coffee in hand and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were so bloodshot I looked like I had been on a three day bender..and quite frankly I probably would have felt better if I had. Sleep deprivation is evil.

I called the medical center and rescheduled the mammogram for Friday. There was no way I was going to be able to drive across town in my current state. I called R, told him what all had gone on, took the phone off the hook and went back to bed declaring the day a total bust. I had just laid down when the doorbell rang again (insert cussing here) only to discover it was a salesman who had ignored my no soliciting sign. After that it was all quiet and I finally managed to get four hours of sleep. I got up and did some housework and yes I WORKED ON A BEAR!

I went to bed this morning at a normal time, slept for about 9 hours and got up refreshed. I decided to go ahead and go to the antique mall today. I probably should have gone grocery shopping instead but I just wanted to do something fun.

The above picture shows my haul. I am proud to say those five things including that lovely old bear only cost me 78.00. The purse and the cow aren't old but I liked them anyway. I saw many more things I could have taken home, but I tried to behave myself. All in all today was a much better day and tomorrow I will go do the rest of the things I should have done yesterday.

Story Telling

It's an absolutely beautiful morning. We have had nothing but rain for a month and then yesterday it was 90 degrees. So I went outside and sat on the deck for a few minutes and watched the sun come up. It's a perfect 65 out there right now with a slight breeze.

A few years ago I went to a fortune teller at a renaissance festival with a friend for a lark. She told me the usual stuff they get from assessing who you are by looking at you. But she also told me that I would write a book when I was in my 40's. We joked about what a great author I would be and then I never gave it much more thought.

As I was sitting there this morning, it almost seemed as if the trees were whispering to me that I should indeed write a book. It's a silly thought and I am not sure where it came from so abruptly. My sentence structure is terrible. If you read my blog at all, then you know I have the worst run on sentences ever. I leave my participles dangling in the wind, and my syntax is all over the place.

Even if I did write a book, I don't know what I would write about. They say you should write about what you know, but I know about entirely too much. What story do I have inside me that needs to get out? Would it be a work of fiction, or maybe a self help book? I am not sure I am really qualified to help anyone despite the unwanted advice I tend to dispense. Maybe I would write something on making bears or art. I don't know if anyone would even want to read something I wrote.

Still though...the seed was planted with the leaves blowing in the gentle breeze of a perfect morning.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Your Last Act

When I was a teenager I worked for a while in a trendy little clothing shop at the mall. For the most part it was a fun job. I got to see my friends as they came in there to shop and I got a discount on clothes. What could be better for a teenage girl right? Working retail isn't all it's fun though. For some reason people find it easy to take out their aggressions on sales people. Now I have to admit I have been guilty of this a time or two as well. However they do have to do something to prompt it. I always feel bad after, and as the years roll by I try very hard to be nice to them.

I remember a lady came into the shop one day and she wanted to try on some clothes that were about two sizes too small for her. But it was the 80's and the customer was always right in those days so I smiled and helped her to a dressing room. She emerged about 15 minutes later and just ripped me apart because our clothes were "mislabeled" according to size. I realized at the time she was clearly having a bad day and didn't want to admit she had an increasing waistline. But I never forgot that woman.

I have witnessed other sales people receiving this type of harangue from angry customers over things that aren't their fault. Every time I see it I have the same thought...what if you left this shop and got into a fatal car accident? Now I know that probably seems morbid, but would you want that to be your last act on this earth? Would you really want the last thing you ever did in your life to be treating a stranger badly?

I did something stupid tonight and I thought I broke my hand. I popped a little bone on the outside out of place. I also bruised the bottom of my foot yesterday at the gym somehow. I have been sorta accident prone this week. I was in a lot of pain but I ran to a convenience store because R ran out of chips for his lunch. The guy behind the counter was so friendly. Despite being in pain and wanting to get back home, I chatted with him for a couple minutes and he really smiled broadly as I left. I am sure working the late shift at a convenience store is pretty lonely and tedious in its own right and I felt being pleasant and talking to someone for a couple minutes was something I could certainly do.

As I got in the car, for some reason I remembered that woman from all those years ago. And I was glad I wasn't like her. If I hadn't made it home for some reason I would have been content in the knowledge that my last act on this earth would have been to leave someone with a smile despite my own minor discomforts.

Monday, July 6, 2009

What Lies Beneath

I have said a few times in the past that I am not really on board with reincarnation. But if I were and someone asked me who I was in a previous life (it always has to be someone famous you know! *winks*) the expected answer would most likely be Margarete Steiff. We have the same occupation and the same birthday. But that's not the answer they would get. I would probably say Calamity Jane.

Aside from the obvious humorous reasons for choosing her, I would also choose her because buried deep in my soul is a little sliver of rebellious cowgirl. Maybe I lived in Cheyenne too long in my younger years and some of it rubbed off. Or maybe she was there all along. I can't honestly say for sure. To observe me on any given day you would never suspect this secret side of me exists. There are times when I wish we could chuck it all and live a simple life of jeans and boots on a ranch somewhere. That's not something I have ever told anyone...until now. If R knew he would probably pack us up and move us immediately. I am pretty sure he could embrace that life quite easily.

I went to visit one of my favorite sites tonight. It's called The Junk Gypsy Company. I really love looking at it. I love the style it encompasses and the quotes on every page. They have a ring on there that I fell madly in love with and would dearly like to buy myself for my upcoming birthday in a couple weeks. (While I certainly appreciate the presents people buy me, I don't like to ask for things. So I always buy myself a birthday present because I know I get something I really want that way, and I don't have to explain my wishes to anyone else or burden them in any way.) This ring utterly represents my philosophy to life and a portion of my personal style. Sadly it's too expensive. This isn't a reflection on the artist or her work by any means, it's a reflection on my bank account and the massive hits it's taken this past month between major cat surgeries and new washing machines and a whole host of other little things life decided to throw my way lately, combined with artistic block that has kept me from working.

I have noticed right around this time every year that cowgirl part of my soul rears her wild little head. I am not sure why that is exactly, but every year just like clockwork she appears. Maybe it's some part of my subconscious psyche trying to tell me something? I don't know...I find myself wondering if this sort of thing happens to everyone, or is it just me?

Regardless, I think each of us has facets of our souls that lie hidden deep beneath the surface that we rarely let see the light of day. Maybe we should let them have their head to run once in a while. We obviously have those hidden sides to ourselves for a reason. I guess the question is, why do we hide them?

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independence Day

Today was the 4th of July. Somehow it didn't feel like it. It has rained for so many weeks it doesn't even feel like summer to be honest with you. R went out and barbecued chicken, but without sun and getting to eat it outside it didn't seem right somehow. Also there were no fireworks this year. Aside from the rain, the city couldn't afford to put them on so we didn't have our usual display.

I realize it's expensive and the money is probably being put to better use, but it made me feel a little sad. This is the first year I have ever spent without fire works. See the truth is I really like the 4th of July. I truly believe our independence is something to be celebrated.

Anyone who knows me in real life might find that a little surprising. I am not terribly fond of our government and I think there is vast room for improvement, and the law is often used for nefarious purposes instead of how it was meant to be used. However I am proud of our country and the people who live in it.

I know that Americans are looked down on in many countries. We have plenty of flaws, but who doesn't? However we still have an innate sense of goodness I think. We have a never say die attitude and we help many of our neighbors. No system is perfect, but I for proud to be an American! We enjoy many freedoms and liberties others don't, and I think that makes us lucky.

So all I have to say is happy 4th of July everyone! God bless America!
Related Posts with Thumbnails
Current copyright laws allow for all work to be automatically protected when it is created. All original artwork, photos, text, logo, descriptions, and derivative works from Blondheart are not to be copied, imitated or distributed in any way. All rights reserved solely by the artist, Kelly Dauterman.

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map