Artists And Obsessions

 

 I like to watch a show on the History channel called "Ancient Aliens."  I don't really buy into it mind you, but it's entertaining, and occasionally they have things that make you go hmmm...and give me pause to ponder them.  I like to ponder things.  It leads to theories and understanding.

Tonight the episode was about Leonardo da Vinci.  The poor guy, I feel rather bad for him.  Ever since Dan Brown pulled him out for fiction purposes he has gotten a lot of press.  Much of it tabloid worthy.  

In this episode they posited the theory that Leo had been in contact with aliens, and that's how he came up with many of his ideas.  I think that's utter nonsense.  Of course Leo was a genius and for some reason people cannot accept genius for just that.  They tend to sometimes think there has to be another explanation simply because they don't understand how it works.  It's not so hard to predict how things will be made in the future.  Back in the early 80's I was working at Sears in the audio-visual department as they called it then, when laser discs and the Sony Walkman first came out.  I remember saying to another girl that I worked with that some day we would have smaller devices that didn't require any tapes or discs because we would be able to put the music directly onto it.  25 years later we have iPods.  How did I know?  I have no idea, it just came to me.

While I would never presume to put myself in the same category as Leonardo, I can relate to him in many ways.  He was an artist who was interested in science, and so am I.   He was so obsessed with understanding the workings of the human body that he risked imprisonment and even death to dissect corpses, which was illegal at the time, simply to see muscles and skeletons and how they work.  I can understand this obsession fully. I have no interest in how the body works because that's main stream info now.  But my obsession is to understand the mind.  I have a burning desire to understand why people do what they do because sometimes their behavior simply mystifies me.  In fact I can become so caught up in trying to understand someone's motivation for something, that my friends think I am interested in the given person in a different way.  It's very difficult to explain your burning need to understand something you don't even really care about, and/or fascination with mindless things to those who don't share your fascination.

I have all sorts of odd little curiosities about things, and that can often crop up in my work.  I am obsessed with wings.  I don't know why, I have no desire to fly.  I simply find them incredibly interesting and slightly romantic.  I am also fascinated and captivated by safety pins.  Again I have no idea why.  I use them a lot.  You have to admit, they are brilliant in such a simple way.  With this latest bear (shown above) I wanted to give her hinged wings and the best way to do that was to use safety pins.  I think it's cute and functional.  *Shrugs*

Another thing they touched on was his obsession with his painting of the Mona Lisa.  They suggested that he carried it around for the rest of his life because it contained a hidden message of some sort.  Perhaps...he was known for that.  But I think there are several other possible explanations.  Either he was obsessed with the woman who posed for the painting in some way and since he couldn't study her directly he chose to do it through his work, or he was dissatisfied with the painting.  When I make a piece (I am not comparing a teddy bear to the Mona Lisa, but hey art is art) and I am dissatisfied with it, I will keep it around for a while to study it and figure out what I feel I did wrong.  It's probably nothing, but that's the way it works.  My last possible theory is simply that he liked it.  I keep things I like sometimes.  Artists do that, they get to keep some of their work when they really like it.  Sometimes inspiration comes from ourselves.  It's no great mystery.

The last thing the show touched on was that people tend to idolize and even worship genius.  If this is true, I haven't witnessed it in my own life.  In fact people tend to either get annoyed or be afraid of me for it.  I think Leo dealt with much of the same while he was alive.  Perhaps people only idolize genius posthumously? That will never happen to me, because I keep my theories mainly to myself, so I don't make those types of contributions to the world and very few people actually know about my being a genius.

When it comes to obsession, we tend to view that as a negative thing.  And yet...we are all obsessed with knowing or learning something.  We all have our odd little fascinations.  The difference is, when they are yours they don't seem odd.  So my friends, what fascinates you?  Do you know why?  Do others find it odd, when you don't?

I guess the Mad Hatter said it best; "We're all mad here!"  It's true of course, we all have our things that appear crazy to someone else, but they too have their own brand of crazy. As you will remember, the Hatter was obsessed with why a raven was like a writing desk! 

Hung Up On Definitions

Everyone has an opinion on everything they believe and hold dear.  Deep down we tend to believe that our opinion is the right one, even if we say we are open to other ideas and opinions.  It's human nature and it's completely normal.  In truth each of our opinions is the right one...for ourselves.  We have based our opinions and formulated what we believe due to circumstances and episodes that have shaped our lives.

But we have all seen what happens when people get mired down in debating who is right and who is wrong.  Wars break out, people fight and lose respect for one another, they will go the distance to prove they are right even if they aren't entirely certain the other person really is wrong.  In the end it's a waste of energy and things fall by the wayside and don't get done because everyone is caught up in the debate.

Regardless what business you are in, chances are you have an opposing view of it that differs from one or more people in that same business.  If you are new to the business that can be very confusing.  If you have been in the business for a long time, then you have your set of ideals already in place and all the debate in the world probably won't change them very much.

When it comes to the handmade world there are two debates that rear their heads quite often.  The first one is whether something is truly one of a kind or not.  Some people believe that in order to be one of a kind a thing has to be genuinely unique in every aspect.  That's kind of a tough one.  If we get down to brass tacks, no one makes a one of a kind anything.  I certainly haven't made the only mohair teddy bear the world has ever seen.  Therefore it could be said that no teddy bear is one of a kind ever.  On the other hand, I rarely make anything that is identical in mohair and costuming..thus making it only one.  So it's one of a kind since it's not two or more of a kind.  But I use the same patterns for a period of time on each of those individual bears until I design a new one.  Is it one of a kind or not?  Hmmm....that's where the debate enters.  But let me ask you this; are you one of a kind?  Is there another human being exactly like you?  The answer is no, you are unique.  You are one of a kind, and yet you are made from the same nifty pattern and materials as every other human being.  You have your arms and legs and eyes all in the right places and you are easily definable as a human being when people look at you.  So who decides what the definition of one of a kind is and what it isn't?  I went to the best authority I could think of...Merriam-Webster.  This is their definition of one:

In particular I liked the reference to "one day."  It reminded me that each day is the same....24 hours.  Dusk is always in the evening and dawn is always in the morning.  But each day is unique and one of a kind for each of us.

I think we worry too much over this phrase.  As far as I am concerned if there aren't more exactly the same, then there is one.  When I buy a bear, a loaf of bread, a pair of shoes, or anything else in the world...I buy it because I like it.  I have never once bought or not bought something because it was or was not one of a kind.  I am not sure collectors care that much about that sort of thing unless they are buying it solely as an investment which they intend to sell for profit at a later date.  I have found that the majority of collectors who purchase my work buy it because it speaks to them in some way.  That makes me happy.  It's what matters to me and makes me want to keep working.

The second debate that rears it's head in the handmade world quite often is whether someone is an "artist" or not.  Again I went to Merriam-Webster, and this is their definition of artist:

I really liked the part about "one who professes and practices an imaginative art."  What's more imaginative than a teddy bear?  Bear artists employ all sorts of techniques.  Things that are not specific to the genre, like painting and sculpting.  If you tell someone you are a painter or a sculptor, no one questions whether you are an artist are not, it's simply accepted that you are.  While I don't use marble, I take a two dimensional piece of material and sculpt it into a three dimensional bear.  I may not use canvas, but I do "paint" (liberal use of the word there) them to give them a certain finish that creates a vintage look and changes the original "canvas."  Does that qualify me as an artist? 

Now for me, I have used the phrase "bear artist" for a long time.  Does that mean I think of myself as an artist?  To be honest while I apply the phrase to myself for the ease-of-a-general-definition factor, I don't sit around thinking about it. I am too busy working and I have more interesting things to ponder most of the time.  The definition I take away from it is that means I am one person working alone creating the entire piece from start to finish out of my imagination, as opposed to being a designer or assembly line worker at a manufacturer or cottage industry.  Also that I go that extra distance to specialize what I create.  It's a quick and easy definition that people can identify.

But again when I buy a bear, I don't care if it was made by one person or fifty.  I buy it because I like it.  I don't worry if it's art or not.  I am only concerned with whether it tugs at my heart and if I feel the price is justified for the work involved.

In the end, I think we need to stop getting hung up on all these definitions and just work. Why define everything?  Art and artists are subjective.  Enjoy our work and the works of others.  Live and let live, let others create and define it how they choose.

Our Greatest Nemesis

A few posts back I told you that once again it was recommended to me to try meditation. I finally went out and bought a couple CD's and decided to give it a try. I have semi-chronic shoulder, back and neck pain from years of working on bears, heavy hair and a large chest. So I was looking for stress/pain relieving meditation type CD's.

I finally gave that a try today. Throughout the course of the guided part, the guy says to let whatever emotion you have rise to the surface. Out of all the emotions that might have risen, the one that did surprised me a little.

I had a feeling of inadequacy and fear. I am a pretty confident person overall. But when I really look at that it's not that big of a surprise. Society tells us we have to be perfect as women. We have to be able to hold down jobs, maintain our homes, take care of families and look flawless while doing it. That's a pretty tall order, and it's not surprising that somewhere deep inside themselves most women feel inadequate in some way.

Artists always have fear and feel inadequate. It's who we are. Even the most self confident of artists have days where they feel that way. It's our greatest nemesis. We have all sorts of fears...failure, not being as good as the next artist, not being able to do something again, not being able to do something at all, being accused of copying another artist's work even when we don't, fear of never selling anything else, even fear of success, etc. The list goes on.

But as I was laying there doing my deep breathing I thought about this feeling of inadequacy. Suddenly I had a new perspective on it. Who am I to feel that way about myself? It's kind of insulting to my maker, He doesn't do shoddy work.

We don't need to fit a mold. We don't have to try to be as good as the next person because we can't be, nor can they be as good as us. We can only be what we are, a unique creation. A thread that fits perfectly into the tapestry of life.

So I think it's time to get busy on that pattern I created this week. If it doesn't turn out the first time...so what. What am I afraid of really? What's the worst that can happen? If it doesn't turn out the first time I will simply redesign it until it does turn out the way I want it to. Not much lost but a little time and mohair spent learning to make something new. That's worth it!

Oddly enough through this mental discourse I had with myself my shoulder pain was slightly alleviated. Hmmm...maybe there is something to this meditation thing after all!