The Genuine Bonafide Official Announcement!

Ok so after yesterday's issues, I guess I am ready for a happy announcement! As promised...here it is! I am having another blog party!

The theme of this one is "A Midsummer Night's Secret Dream." You can read all about it here:


A Midsummer Night's Secret Dream Party I look forward to seeing you all there!

Hugs, K. <3

Not Again!!!

I cried. I did, I couldn't help it because my frustration was so great. I hate to cry, especially in public. But R and I went out for lunch before doing some much needed grocery shopping. Halfway through lunch my crown fell off AGAIN. This time however, I swallowed it.

I am tellin ya this stuff ALWAYS happens on the weekend. I don't understand why it fell off again. I was careful and followed all the instructions last time to the letter.

I called the on call dentist who wasn't even remotely concerned and said he had been going without a crown on his for a year and a half...as if that would make me feel better.

Then he said; "maybe you will find it." I said; "oh no, I swallowed it." He said "yes I know"....*insert look of utter horror here*

Now like any artist I can get very messy sometimes. But messy is not the same as dirty. I live wayyy across the border in OCD land about being dirty. I even used a spoon to make mud pies as a kid so I didn't have to touch the dirt. I am nearly hermetically clean all the time. I have spent literally years developing ways to make the bears look old and dirty that is absolutely non toxic and completely irrevocably clean.

The thought of what he was suggesting was more than my brain could begin to process. I didn't even know what to say...I think it was something like "eeeeewwwwwohhhhhhhnoooooo" that faded off into a silent scream while my brain just shut down. He may as well have just suggested I drink a nice glass of iced sewer water. I know they would sterilize it, I know it's going to cost a fortune for a new one...and I don't care. NOTHING that has passed through my system is ever going back in my mouth, and that's that! There isn't enough boiling water and bleach in the world.

But since I know they will have to make a new one, that probably means everything I will be eating for the rest of the week will be sucked through a straw. I am so sad because R was going to make his famous BBQ chicken for Memorial Day. Ok well it's not famous...but it's so good it should be. Instead I will be having a nice can of microwavable tomato soup. I think I am going to go cry again.

I will still be making my announcement tonight though. Until then...K.

The Bear Bee

Yesterday I drove up to Denver to meet up with some other artists for a bear bee. We had a really nice time. We talked, worked and had some nice snacks.

It was great to see other artists. One of the things I miss about doing shows is getting together. I met some people I hadn't met before, and connected with friends I hadn't talked to for a while. So we had a full range of artists, new and old. It was fun. I took some pics, but they didn't turn out very well.

We met up at Sassy Bears & Fabrics which has an amazing array of miniature bear making supplies. Her fabric choices were staggering. She has ever color and finish you can imagine, so if you're a miniature maker...be sure and check out her shop!

I was delighted because as it turns out, I was just thinking the past few days I needed some miniature fabric for a project I am going to be working on after I finish the three I have started! Shhh...that's a secret! *winks*

It was a great day all the way around!

Today R is going to be finishing the garden and I can finally get to planting. Then tomorrow I am going to go to Sex And The City 2. The main reason I want to see it because they are going to be in Morocco! If you read my post about the vest then you know that's on my top ten places to go! Otherwise I would probably wait for it to hit video.

Tonight or tomorrow I will be making the announcement I promised you! Until then! Have a great Memorial Day!

Hugs, K. <3

A Sky Blue-Pink Morning

This morning I decided to let R sleep in since he has the day off, and took the trash down. When I was out there, the sky was positively sky blue-pink and I had to take some pics...




What a glorious morning!



My lilacs are also blooming!

Sping has truly arrived in Colorado!

11:30

It's 11:30...do you know where your teddy bear is? I found mine out moon gazing!  I can't say I blame him.  It's a magical night.

PS...in the next couple days I am going to have a magical announcement for you!

Hugs, K. <3

Thank You Oprah Winfrey

Today went pretty darned good I must say. I slept well. I got up and pulled weeds in the area where we plant tomatoes every year. I took my house plants out to the porch because I think it's finally going to be warm for the rest of the season. I got to eat solid food again. I cut out the bear. And best of all there was no wind and no one got lost!

This evening, I decided to do a chore I had been putting off. I had this HUGE stack of old magazines I had added to every time company came and I wanted to put them out of site. I had to sort through them and get rid of most of them. So I turned on the TV to watch stuff I had recorded and started going through them page by page.

Well into the stack I found a copy of Oprah's magazine I had picked up last January and apparently never got around to reading. But keep in mind...I always say things happen in their own time, and sometimes things wait for a reason. I think my not reading the magazine until tonight was for a reason because I had a lesson to learn that I wasn't ready for last January.

Now I have to say I don't watch Oprah's show. I have seen it, but daytime talk shows aren't really my thing. Hers is one of the better ones, but I still don't watch. So I haven't seen her in a while.

I bought that particular issue of the magazine because it had an article in it that caught my attention. At any rate on the cover was a picture of Oprah from 2005 and one of her current self when the magazine came out in 2009. Apparently she had put on some weight again. She said she was ashamed and embarrassed in the article.

It was interesting though, here was a picture of her, overweight...wearing a rather unattractive purple track suit...and all I thought was wow she is a really beautiful woman. Her face radiated a glow that I don't think was entirely due to the camera and lighting.

I turned the page and the big lettering excerpt from the article read that standing between Cher and Tina Turna that she felt like a fat cow. She said they didn't just sparkle, they glittered. The ironic thing is, I bet they didn't glow the same way I thought she did in the picture.

Now of course I don't know her personally so I can only speculate...but I think she really cares about people and this country and that is what gives her that glow.

The reason I am telling you this...is because I think we all feel that way sometimes. We don't see in ourselves what others see in us. We often feel like we fall short of our peers in some way. As artists especially we feel like what we make isn't good enough, or perfect enough or even beautiful. But beauty really, truly, honestly is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty comes in all forms, and there is someone out there to appreciate each form.

I know when I make a bear I know how to make a bear. I know how to draw the parts on paper to make a pattern, I know how to cut it out and assemble it, and I know how to dress it up. But when I look at it compared to someone else's work I think maybe it falls short sometimes. I wonder if anyone ever feels that way when they look at my work?

I often feel that way about blogging too. I think that sometimes I don't write well enough, clever enough or happy enough posts. I am convinced that my dear readers think I am completely neurotic...which might be true? I don't post the beautiful pictures others post every time, and I somehow feel as if I should. I feel like I fall short all the time when I blog. Blogging has been a joy, a struggle and definitely a voyage of self discovery for me.

What I learned from Oprah's article wasn't anything about weight loss. (Sorry Oprah!) I learned to have a little more self appreciation for who I am right this moment, not what I might become or can achieve in the future. Oprah wasn't less than Cher or Tina just because of a few extra pounds she had at the time. I, nor you, nor anyone else isn't any less than any other person. We are just sparkling, glittering or glowing in our own way.

There is no right or wrong way to create, blog or simply live our lives. We put the restrictions on ourselves by trying to measure up to someone else. I don't know why, we can never measure up to someone else because we aren't them and we shouldn't want to be. We don't need to do that to ourselves, it isn't fair to who we are. I am not 25 anymore, I am not 135 pounds anymore, I am not the best bear artist in the world, nor the best blogger. But I am the best at doing it the way I do it, and just being who I am right now in this minute. That's what really matters.

Isn't it funny how the simplest lessons are sometimes the hardest to learn? And when we do learn them, they never come in the way we would imagine. So thank you Oprah, even though you will never know what I learned from you!

Ok...So Tuesday Has To Be Better Right?

When I left off from the post before last I told you I was happy Monday had arrived since my weekend hadn't been that great. Little did I know it wasn't going to get better just yet.

I didn't sleep well because we had incredibly strong winds. There was no way I could sleep through it. But that was ok because the dentist's office called and wanted me to come in at 2 PM. They had no trouble putting my crown back on which I was extremely thankful for. The bad news was it takes 24 hours for the cement to set up which meant no chewing. So I still couldn't eat anything solid. At this point I am starving! I can't wait for some solid food today. While cheese soup and protein drinks are fine, they don't make for a fulfilling day.

When I got home from the dentist I discovered a huge branch from the neighbors tree had broken off and was laying in the street in front of our mail boxes. I limped over to their house, but they weren't home. So I just had to suck it up, knee and all and move it myself since was so far out into the street.

I came in and let the dogs out into the back yard and went downstairs to call my Mom. A half hour later I went to get them so I could take a nap before R came home. I called for them and nothing. I called again thinking they were around the corner of the house. Nothing. Suddenly I was gripped with a panic because I just knew what had happened. I hobbled down the stairs and looked around on the far side of the house to see a huge section of my fence laying down. The wind was truly brutal. The dogs were gone.

My dogs are nice dogs and they are good dogs, but they are not particularly bright dogs. I was terrified I was going to find one of them in the street having been hit by a car, and they had a half hour to go roaming. I called R in a panic and asked him to come home. Luckily today he was working in town.

Then I got in the car and drove slowly all over the neighborhood calling for them and asking people I saw out on the street if they had seen them. Nothing. I drove around for about 20 minutes calling and looking and finally came home to see if someone had found them and called our number which is on their tags.

Still nothing, so I called the Humane Society to leave a message on their lost and found line. I tried, unsuccessfully to compose myself and not be stressed and then I went outside to call for them again. I called and heard a jingling of a collar. I looked but didn't see anything. I called and heard it again so I walked over and peek through our back gate. Nothing. I figured it must be the neighbor's dog in their backyard and peeked through their gate too. I still didn't see anything.

I called again and heard the jingling again. I walked back over and peeked through our gate again to see my two little ragamuffins peeking through the gate as if to say well duh we are right here Mom! I was so relieved I almost cried. I ushered them into the house hugging them and calling them smart puppies. They didn't seem to understand what all the fuss was about but gratefully accepted the treats I gave them anyway.

R came home and spent the next two hours fixing the fence. Then he came in and made me homemade cheese soup. I am not sure whose day was worse...his since he also had to deal with my issues, or mine. We both collapsed into bed at 9 PM completely exhausted, and in an uncharacteristic moment I fell asleep almost instantly.

Luckily they are saying the wind is finally going to end today after three days of it. Maybe I can get some sleep and get through the day without a crisis! Despite everything, I am still thinking positively, so HA, take that negative energy!

If all goes well, I will be starting on a new bear today. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Have a great day all! Hugs, K. <3

My Take On The Lost Finale

If you haven't seen the episode and are intending to watch it, I urge you to not read any further because I am going to be discussing what happened and I don't want to spoil it for you.





Now on to my take on what happened...I am going to go ahead and join the throng of viewers to post about it, if for no other reason than posterity.

At the beginning of this season we see Jack on the plane experiencing turbulence. It's my opinion that's when he died. Rose looked over at him and said "You can let go now." Jack is confused by what she said at first so she repeats herself. I think her comment was meant to be more profound than literal. Jack lets go of the arm of the seat but not of the life he wished had turned out differently.

At the end last night his Father tells him that some of the people died before him, which we saw throughout the show, and others long after. I am assuming the latter is a reference to the people who did get off of the island or stayed behind and went on to live the rest of their lives more or less normally. So like his Father tells him, everything they experienced on the island was real. They were not dead at the time of the crash, and they all lived through what we saw on the island.

So technically I think the flash sideways was also a little bit of a flash forward to a limbo they were in until they had all died. I am also guessing that it could happen simultaneously because time in the afterlife is no longer relative.

The part that bothered me was when Christian said that these people meant the most to you in your lives. Well what about their friends and family before they got on the plane? Sure some of these people didn't have good families and friends but many did and I felt that sent the wrong message.

What I don't understand is if you were going to create your own little niche in your limbo world while you're waiting for everyone else to show up, why would you subject yourselves to such traumas like getting shot in the case of Sun, being in jail like Sayid and Kate, or still having a drug addiction like Charlie. And why would Claire still be pregnant?

A large part of the show was watching most of these characters work through their life issues they had before getting on the plane while they were on the island. So in my opinion there was no penance required in limbo.

I did think it was very appropriate that Ben did not go into the church because he still had things to work through. It didn't bother me that Walt wasn't among the group, because he was a child when the plane crashed and I can assume he went on to lead a normal life and only gained his baggage after he grew up. I felt that Michael, Mr. Eko and a few other characters should have been in the church though. Perhaps Mr. Eko building the church on the island was symbolic of what was to come, although I am not sure that the writers had thought it all out that far yet.

Overall however I found the ending disappointing. The series was a convoluted mess with too much moving forward and backwards through time. Too many questions left unanswered about the island itself and why certain things happened. I felt too many plot lines were abandoned from one season to the next and that much of it was just for ratings and to keep us watching, despite being meaningless in the end.

Maybe the great point of the show really was that lots of things in life seem meaningless but have a hidden meaning? I have no idea. I do know that the last three seasons were tedious for me, but I kept watching for the simple fact of waiting for the finale where we get our answers...which we really didn't...and I was fairly certain we wouldn't. But I had hope I would be wrong. I was left last night feeling bereft and as if I had wasted wayyyy too much of my own life watching water spill through a sieve just to go down the drain. If these two writers come up with another show, you can count me out of the viewing audience.

Sure a lot of viewers would have been unhappy with a happy ending because it would have seemed trite, but I wouldn't have been one of them. I like happy endings. Life has enough confusing issues with it's myriad of trials and tribulations and I don't think TV viewing should be one of them.

Just my take on it!

More Mouth Troubles

Books like "The Secret" would have you believe that you make your own luck by being positive. They suggest that if you have positive thoughts, positive things will happen to you. They also suggest that if you have negative thoughts you attract negative energy to you and bad things happen. Well that might be true to a certain extent, but I think sometimes things just happen regardless what your state of mind might be.

Saturday I woke up in a very positive mood. I hadn't gone 12 feet across my floor before I stepped down wrong and popped my knee out joint. I have never had that happen before, and I can tell you it hurts a great deal. I popped it back into place (which didn't really feel any better) and I was left with a pulled muscle that has had me hobbling around all weekend.

Sunday morning I woke up, and despite having a painful knee I was still in a fairly positive frame of mind. R had been called into work for an emergency, so I was on my own for lunch. I had just settled down to a lovely chicken, fruit and spinach salad. I ate one strawberry, and took a bite of chicken when I bit down on something very hard. At first I thought it was a bone, but I realized quickly that a bone wouldn't be rattling around like a chicklet. My next thought was that the filling they had put into my broken tooth from earlier in the month had come out. But instead what landed in my hand was my crown. It had just fallen off.

I do not know what is going on with my mouth this month. At any rate that left me with the gum graft on one side and the exposed tooth...or what's left of it after they carve it down for the crown on the other. That meant no solid food today.

I don't know why these things always happen on the weekends when you can't get to the doctor or dentist.

R didn't make in home in time for dinner so I had to limp into the kitchen to make tomato soup which I sucked through a straw. He kindly brought me a shake for later when he did get home. There really are very few foods that require no chewing. Hopefully I can get into the dentist tomorrow so they can cement it back on. The good news is that the tooth didn't break, it just looks like the glue gave way.

I am pretty sure I didn't bring this on myself. I think sometimes the universe just throws things at you willy nilly.

I spent my evening watching the Lost finale. Honestly I found it very unsatisfactory, but I was pretty sure it would be. I guess it was supposed to make us think and all that, but I think enough. I like TV to be a lovely, well spelled out escape from all my thinking.

To leave this on a positive note though...Agadeze was adopted today and will be winging his way to France as soon as I can stand up long enough to go to the post office.

Usually people hate Mondays, but I am happy it's here! I hope your weekend was better than mine! Hugs, K. <3

At Long Last...

Would you believe...I have finished my website layout! I know it's hard to imagine right? After all this time I finally settled on something. The odd thing is, it's completely different from what I thought I wanted. I wanted bright colors and I went with black, taupe-ish grey, white and red. I wanted something really fancy, but instead I went with something pretty simple. I was going to change the basic style of the layout and I didn't do that either. And you know what, I love it! Now you get two pics of each piece, and it's very simple to navigate. Also I took into consideration that the purchase buttons were overlapping the price for Mac users and added it in right below the name. I hope that helps!

If you want to have a peek, just click the button at the right. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!

~*~ Agadeze ~*~

Here he is! He will be showing up on my website...at some point if I ever get the newest layout done and installed. (Yes I made another one.) In the mean time you can visit him on Bearpile.

Also just a side note, it's my 21st anniversary! I can't believe R and I have been together that long. It's been great! Last year at this time I was in Barbados. Today we will just be going out for Mexican. But that's ok.

Have a great day all! Hugs, K. <3

A Little Sneak Peek

Artists generally approach making something one of two ways. They either have a preconceived idea that they want to bring to life, or they just start playing with stuff until something interesting presents itself. For me it can go either way or be a combination. Things rarely turn out exactly how I first envision them. The bear I am currently working on however is going according to my plan thus far. He isn't costumed yet, but I am confident he will be what I pictured when I am done.

I told you a while back that I was going to go back to making very distressed bears and that I had a fun new bear idea. You should be seeing the full costumed version in all his glory soon! In the mean time I am going to give you a little sneak peek!

The Snowflake Theory

At some point or another during our lives we have had an event that caused us to doubt ourselves. Chances are someone older and wiser than ourselves at that time smiled encouragingly and told us to "just be yourself."

This afternoon I had to run out to pick up some excelsior. While I was out I grabbed a couple of my favorite magazines from the rack. When I got home I settled in to have a look at them. I came across a picture of a sign someone had made expressing that sentiment. I have both heard and read that phrase many times in my life. But for some reason today it really stuck with me.

I thought about it tonight. I mean I really thought about it. I could hear all the voices replaying in my head that told me that over the years. I wondered if when I left the house to the date or social engagement that had caused me worry if I had actually followed that advice? I wasn't so sure. Children and teenagers have a tendency to like to fit in.

We are a collection of the people we have known who inspire us, places we have been, experiences we have had and things that leave an impact on us whether they are good or bad. We are shaped by others and outside influences so can any of us truly just be ourselves unless we were raised by wolves?

I passed by Gypsy, one of my three cats, as she was sleeping. She always sleeps in the oddest positions. In fact Gypsy rarely does anything cat like. She definitely marches to the beat of her own drummer. And...she is always just herself. In that moment I envied her.

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you know I have been struggling with my new layout design for my website. I keep making layouts and scrapping them. I was halfway through putting this last one in place when I decided I didn't like part of it. I was afraid it was too much like other things I had seen, and kept telling myself to just be myself.

But today really brought home to me that I don't know what that means. I have been told many times in my life I am very unique, but is being unique what it's all about? Is being yourself marching to the beat of a different drummer like my cat? Again I wasn't so sure.

I have always been pretty comfortable in my own skin. But lately I find myself concerned that I might be doing something too similar to something else. I guess that's in part due to the Internet and all those magazines for crafty women, where we can see what others are doing so easily and trends can be created in a moment. I see so many things I like and I want to incorporate a piece of that here and there into what I do sometimes.

By doing that...does that mean we aren't being ourselves? Does it mean we aren't being individuals if we follow a trend? I think one of the greatest struggles artists have is to be creative, make what you love, be unique and still have a product that will sell in whatever the current social marketplace is. Sometimes you have to conform...and sometimes you simply want to. Of course you always run the risk of having someone claim you copied them. It can be pretty overwhelming at times.

As the evening progressed though, I had a theory. They say there are no two snowflakes alike. Snowflakes know how to be themselves I guess. But they are still all snowflakes and connected in that larger way. The same way Gypsy is unique but still a cat. Maybe no two snowflakes are the same, but I bet a lot of them are really similar. They share the commonality of ice crystals and form them into their own design.

I have decided that being yourself is being like a snowflake. We are always going to be that balance of being like others, but in our own unique way. We are all made of the same stuff so there will be similarities and things we like the same and share the same way, but yet no two of us are alike. I guess I should just stop worrying about it and finish my layout. When I created it, I was just being myself.

Friday

I can't believe it's Friday already! This week has both flown by and dragged on. Does that make sense?

I had another terrible bout of insomnia and a couple anxiety attacks, but I figured out why. I had gotten these new vitamins from One A Day that are supposed to jump start your metabolism. What I learned after taking them for nearly a week is they are full of caffeine and guarana! They should put that on the bottle in HUGE letters. I stopped taking them yesterday and slept almost all night and half of today.

I am still waiting for Spring to make it's appearance. We have had rain and snow nearly all week. Yes snow! I am sick of Winter keeping it's icy fingers gripped tightly around us. I want to go out and plant things in the garden. Plus I bit the bullet and bought a pair of Havaianas. If you haven't heard of them, they are a brand of flip flops from Brazil. People swear by them, but they are a bit expensive for flip flops so it took me a couple years to get around to buying a pair. I couldn't resist the pink and gold peacock ones. They arrived two days ago and are quite nice. I can't wait for it to be warm enough to wear them.

I went to the grocery store yesterday since our cupboards were getting bare, and while I was in the produce department I saw the biggest banana I had ever seen in my life! It was easily 15 inches long and my hand wouldn't close around it. It was a King Kong sized banana! I didn't know they grew that big.

The good part of my insomnia was that I got a ton done towards the new layout and should have that up very soon. Also my brain was in hyper drive and I came up with a new bear idea. He is going to be very different and fun if he turns out how I want him to. I am working on him today. I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining! With some luck you will be seeing him soon.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend! Hugs, K. <3

25 % Off Sale!

You may notice I have a new header again. While I have been recuperating I have been working hard on my layout and I finally have come up with something I like. Now all I have to do is finish it up. I am going to be completely overhauling my website in the next week and the new layout should be done.

I decided to offer 25% off to all my blogging friends. The less I have to switch over the easier it will be. So that will be good through Friday. If you would like a piece, just e-mail me and I will adjust the paypal invoice for you. Thanks a lot!

Hugs, K. <3

Quick Update

Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you know I haven't vanished. I had my last gum graft yesterday. So I am sleeping a lot right now.

It's been a rough week for my head. After the broken tooth, I got an inner ear infection. Then of course the gum graft. Once my head stops hurting I will be back to post.

I am going to give a little tutorial. But it will wait a day or two. Until then...have a lovely day. Hope to be back soon!

Hugs, K. <3