Thursday, December 4, 2008

Lipstick And Diamonds In The Rough

I was all set to tell a light hearted story about my funny cat today. I felt that it was time for something amusing since my last posts have been rather serious. But another serious issue is on my mind this morning.

I have had the internet for about 13 years now. It's an interesting reversal to most aspects of life. When we go out in the world at large the first thing that hits people's consciousness about us is our physical presence because sight is the first sense that reacts from a distance. It's the first thing we get judged by, like it or not. Most people respond favorably to something they find attractive. I am not saying only pretty people get love, it's more about what you identify with as to your definition of pretty and ugly. I can honestly say I have never found anyone to be just flat out ugly based on their appearance because I know there are more to people than we see at first light and if you judge people by one aspect of them you miss out on a whole lot.

I think human beings are beautiful, all of them. They are like diamonds with many facets. They can be cold and cutting or have a brilliant sparkle depending on which way the light hits them at any given moment...most diamonds have flaws and inclusions that don't detract from their overall beauty. It's also important to remember that all diamonds start out in the rough. Like diamonds, when it comes to people you usually get the bad with the good all in one package. There are also a variety of diamonds out there that are really good manufactured fakes.

The internet is the only place where we are judged first by what people read that we have said and people are judged on their personality before their appearance, but we still never see all that a person is based on a few typed comments. We also read everything based on our own perception of what they said, what we are feeling at given moment and our own experiences so we may be seeing the diamonds under an artificial light of our own making since they are behind glass and we can't touch them. When you combine that with the fact that there is no set precedent on the degree of "reality" people view the net you just open yourself up to all sorts of judgements every single time you post anything anywhere. Some people present themselves the way they are in real life, others like to only put their best face forward 100% of the time, yet others make up a persona that doesn't even remotely reflect the true person behind the screen.

But then it turns the corner and the way we judge one another is back to preferring the things that define our opinion of pretty. It makes people start to feel like the girl who doesn't think she should go down to the mailbox without her makeup on. She feels that if she doesn't keep herself attractive every minute of the day people will find her ugly.

For some reason there is the oddest perception online that people are black and white. If you ever express an opinion, no matter how kindly and gently you try to put it people will find you ugly if it isn't completely positive. Why do you have to be angry and hateful if you express something that isn't perfect? If doesn't mean you are mad or even dislike what you are talking about, lots of adults can express less than favorable comments in a completely calm, objective and rational manner. If you sacrifice addressing an issue that might need resolving and only say yes it's good, it's great I love everything about it, don't change a thing, then you are pretty.

I don't understand how once a person logs onto the computer we feel they have lost those subtle shades and nuances. People want to be able to express their opinions and points of views but they don't want anyone to go against that opinion...if you are clearly being ugly. Others are afraid to express their opinion and never say what's on their mind for fear of recrimination, so they only spread joy and hearts and flowers to the point of never getting their voice heard or anything solved, but at least they can remain pretty in front of the masses.

In the real world being pretty all the time can sometimes come at a very ugly price. If you don't think so look how many models have eating disorders and drug addictions. But as long as they don't let the world know we all think they are pretty and applaud them for their outward appearance right? *Arches an eyebrow*

Behind every screen in the world sits a real live human being that has opinions on things, some we agree with and some we won't. That doesn't make them ugly, that simply makes them brave enough to show their true face to the world and express themselves in an attempt to get something accomplished. They run down to the mail box some days with makeup...and some days without. Now I suppose by the end of all this you are thinking I got caught up in some drama. In fact you would be wrong this time. While it barely brushed against me, for the most part I was observing it and feeling sad once again. It did make me want to step back and not say anything more anyway because some days I don't care, and some days I want to be pretty like anyone else. Most people who make the largest impact in this world roll up their sleeves, take a deep breath and do it with their naked faces exposed at least some of the time. The next time you stop to put on your makeup, just make sure you aren't halting progress in the process. Maybe it's time to put down that lipstick tube and go out and mine for diamonds in the rough.


julietk said...

Well put, I do enjoy your more serious posts.

Kelly said...

I am glad you do, I am usually a little more's been an interesting week! =)

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