What Lies Beneath

I have said a few times in the past that I am not really on board with reincarnation. But if I were and someone asked me who I was in a previous life (it always has to be someone famous you know! *winks*) the expected answer would most likely be Margarete Steiff. We have the same occupation and the same birthday. But that's not the answer they would get. I would probably say Calamity Jane.

Aside from the obvious humorous reasons for choosing her, I would also choose her because buried deep in my soul is a little sliver of rebellious cowgirl. Maybe I lived in Cheyenne too long in my younger years and some of it rubbed off. Or maybe she was there all along. I can't honestly say for sure. To observe me on any given day you would never suspect this secret side of me exists. There are times when I wish we could chuck it all and live a simple life of jeans and boots on a ranch somewhere. That's not something I have ever told anyone...until now. If R knew he would probably pack us up and move us immediately. I am pretty sure he could embrace that life quite easily.

I went to visit one of my favorite sites tonight. It's called The Junk Gypsy Company. I really love looking at it. I love the style it encompasses and the quotes on every page. They have a ring on there that I fell madly in love with and would dearly like to buy myself for my upcoming birthday in a couple weeks. (While I certainly appreciate the presents people buy me, I don't like to ask for things. So I always buy myself a birthday present because I know I get something I really want that way, and I don't have to explain my wishes to anyone else or burden them in any way.) This ring utterly represents my philosophy to life and a portion of my personal style. Sadly it's too expensive. This isn't a reflection on the artist or her work by any means, it's a reflection on my bank account and the massive hits it's taken this past month between major cat surgeries and new washing machines and a whole host of other little things life decided to throw my way lately, combined with artistic block that has kept me from working.

I have noticed right around this time every year that cowgirl part of my soul rears her wild little head. I am not sure why that is exactly, but every year just like clockwork she appears. Maybe it's some part of my subconscious psyche trying to tell me something? I don't know...I find myself wondering if this sort of thing happens to everyone, or is it just me?

Regardless, I think each of us has facets of our souls that lie hidden deep beneath the surface that we rarely let see the light of day. Maybe we should let them have their head to run once in a while. We obviously have those hidden sides to ourselves for a reason. I guess the question is, why do we hide them?